Hi I’m Nicole and i’m  38 yr old  interior designer/showroom manager living in Oceanside CA with my fisherman Matty. We’ve been together a little over year and while that might not sound like a long time, it is two full salmon seasons lol. I’m not exactly greenhorn in life and when you know you you’ve found your partner you just feel it. Navigating the monumental challenges we’ve been through with both of our careers and personal lives over the past year has been pretty intense but also a true test of what it takes to build a strong foundation of communication and honesty and trust. You gotta put in work to make anything work and we are both relentlessly determined in all aspects of our lives.

He spent many many years prior to our relationship Opie crab fishing in Alaska.(thats its own post)  He currently away on his fourth year Salmon in Bristol Bay since June 9th.  In our past year together he has done a Dungey crab season in WA, Squid in Ventura and various Tuna charters in our San Diego area.

As many of you also know it was a shitty Salmon season price wise but we did know this was possible and discussed prior to the season that yeah that could happen but also what that would mean for him professionally and considering the fact it would also make permit prices drop it wouldn’t be the worst thing.  Thats next steps for him/us  so I think going into the season we were strong. But damn the price is low!

That being said the week he left for Bristol Bay my aunt and biggest mentor died,  I left my job of 6 + years and started a new one in a new city the Monday after he left. I am 100% supportive of my fisherman, I am his biggest fan and in constant awe of the incredibly rough challenges he faces on a daily basis but they are different than the challenges we face they just are and sometimes these seasons are rough on us too.

We met the old fashioned way at a dive bar in our neighborhood, he was on a two week break between black cod and Bristol Bay salmon and he walked up to me showing off his videos of an orca pod he had seen the week prior and I was hooked. More or less haha. I asked what he did for a living to which he asked if I had ever seen deadliest catch and I said nope sure haven’t  (of course I had I don’t live under a rock) but I wanted to hear it from him and it got him talking about what he did for a living, why he loves it and what the challenges are right away which was fascinating. To be honest I’m usually the person in prior relationships with the cool job I’m deeply passionate about that takes up all my time and energy and when I met him I knew I’d met my match. I have never met anyone with that kind of drive, dedication, passion and just insane work ethic and I’m deeply and constantly impressed by him and his career. He goes as hard in his many, many hobbies and his commitment to travel and explore the world as he does in work and I love that about him so very much.

Although I see how hard being a commercial fisherman is on him I also know he loves and is drawn to the the excitement, the unknown, the chase and generally how good he is at what he does. Not a lot of people can say that.  He once told me women he had dated prior to me liked the “novelty” of his job but couldn’t handle him being gone nor the actual work and sacrifice that it takes to be in a relationship with a commercial fisherman which I think is interesting. To the other women is this forum you gotta laugh at that cause when you really love them that ‘novelty’ shit wears off reeeeal quick lol. It’s dangerous, it’s scary and they’re gone a lot. I don’t necessarily think there are some people cut out handle this and some aren’t but you do need to be okay being independant, we have to be supportive in so many different ways and while that’s not always easy they really do need that as much as we do if not more. You can’t just want it you have to continue to work on it. I guess thats all relationships really.

What I’ve been learning recently is how not to lose my own identity in all of this. I go all in too and am a caretaker by nature. Figuring out how I can be supportive of him while he’s away is just as important as figuring out he can be supportive of me as well. I work a very demanding job and am intensely career focused and I need a partner that can be there for me mentally when he’s not there for me physically and while it is tough but he puts in the work as well. I can be easy to fall into making it all about them in any relationship but remembering to take care of myself too will allow me to be a better partner and person in general.

I know I’d rather figure out these unique challenges with him that any other challenges with anyone else. I am so happy and grateful to have found Meghans not only inspirational but truly hilarious and community building account and am excited to hear from a group of woman who can relate to the specific challenges we face.

My guy comes back next week from Bristol Bay in 6 days and I’m so freakin excited I cant stand it. But it was a rough season and he’ll need and want to get back to work sooner than later when he gets home. My girlfriends keep telling me it’s only a week but as you all know that last week time moves like molasses and simultaneously there’s so many things to get done, apartments to clean, laundry to do,  fridges to stock (so you can attempt to keep up the allure that you have been totally just fine and definitly not eating Wendys for a week straight lol)  legs to shave for the first time in months, continue to be a boss, commute 80 miles daily and work 12+ hour days and be a good dog mom to your 15 yr old chihuahua etc etc you get it. I’m a bundle of emotions this week so I guess thats my overshare haha.

Anyway I’m just so happy to be a part of the community and hear from other woman who support each through this crazy lifestyle we live. Why not  just do it for the HALIBUT lol.  Something else about me I love dad jokes and puns like no other.

Sorry this is so long but I have a lot to say and I’m excited to be here