Hey, Dawn!

Thank you so much for being open and vulnerable with your current experience. I’m sorry you’re going through this; I’m really glad we can help guide you as best as possible! I took the weekend to think over my answer. Since I haven’t been in this situation, I am proceeding with what I would do in your shoes. (If any other POCFs are reading this and are open to sharing, we’d love to know how you’ve handled/are currently handling this situation so we can all learn from each other. There are no wrong answers. Thank you in advance!)

* I should start by saying I will seek professional financial help on this and get back to you. There are others in this same position, and this topic would make a great podcast interview w a professional, so thanks for the inspo! However, I will share the information with you as soon as I get it so you do not have to wait for the podcast. 🙂

It’s a delicate balance of being romantic + business partners, but many POCFs in our community do it and find success both personally and financially. As I said, I’ll get more opinions on this, but here is what I would do:

• Make a list of questions to ask your fisherman so you can better understand the goals, useful terms, lingo (ex: black cod quota), and expectations. Getting answers will definitely help with anxiety!
• Talk to your fisherman at a specific time to discuss finances. I got this advice from fellow POCF Mo Marankovic, and I’ve implemented it in our relationship, and it helps a lot! The point is to block off some time to dedicate to financial check-ins and planning. Chris and I have tried an hour the last two times, and it’s been nice to know there is an ending – we can both get triggered when talking about money, and a timeline helps us get through it! (If he’s fishing for the season, plan to have a sit down once he’s back and settled, and contact financial pros mentioned in follow bullet points.) It can be difficult to discuss serious matters if he’s on a Sat phone with a bad signal. If it’s something pressing, ask if he’s able to answer the top 1-3 questions you have.
  • Once you designate a time to chat, use the time to have him explain all the stuff that comes with ownership and what you need to be aware of.
  • Maybe a shared *business* bank account comes into play. (You can make an appointment with your local bank to discuss options.)
  • Maybe there is a percentage in mind for unexpected repairs. Even though this could vary by the hundreds to thousands, it’s comforting to know money is put aside for it.
  • This also would be a good time to discuss the Deadliest Catch and if you are receiving any consistent income that could be used towards the investment or reimbursement.
  • Figure out when you’ll get reimbursed for your investment, even a little bit, so you can feel a return on your worth.
  • Maybe you create a contract so you both understand what your roles are going forward. This can become an empowering couple ritual to check in every so often as you nurture plans for your future!
  • Here is a FREE budget template I made to help navigate home, fishing business, POCF biz expenses, and more. Check out the fishing business tab to see what kind of expenses fishing businesses can have (subjective, but still a great outline!). https:/forums/topic/helpful-resources/
• As for the draining of your bank account, I can totally understand this stress! Chris and I were doing 50/50 on expenses, but it wasn’t fair because fishing brings in bigger chunks of money at a time compared to freelance writing. I did some research, and what I found that works for us is a method by Suze Orman. She says to split equal % percentages, not equal amounts of money. The concept is that each person has the same percentage taken out of their income, so one person who makes less isn’t draining their account to pay the same amount. As a woman, I believe it’s important to protect your money/savings and know where it’s going. You’ll feel so much better once you get this figured out, and you can do it! Here’s the link to explain better: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3emUCPu8SU
• Make an appointment to call the accountant and bank (or visit, if nearby) to get further questions answered and to check in on what expectations are of you. This is really helpful if your fisherman is fishing and in no way able to have a conversation. Remembers it’s your money, and you have a right to know about your investment. Answers here will lessen anxiety, too!
• When you have the time to chat, what the money in the bank he has saved for 19yrs is going towards and why you have to contribute so much of your personal income. Find a way that works for you so you feel secure going forward.
• As for the anxiety of their safety, you are not alone. This is a big one that all POCFs go through and work through in time. The short answer is that you’ve got to trust in their abilities, send positive thoughts for their safety, and continue on with your life. I know how this sounds, but after interviewing many POCFs with up to 50 years of experience, and in my own 8-year experience, this is the only way. It is SO EASY to get tangled in the weeds of “What Ifs.” So much energy goes into it that we begin to harm ourselves with overwhelming anxiety and fear. We’ve got to send the positive energy/prayers out and return to present space and time and keep going to enjoy our lives. We cannot live in fear!!! That will rob us of our own unique experience of being a POCF, a woman, and a human on this planet. As for the pics, tell your fisherman to send pictures of him and not giant waves. He probably thinks it’s cool and doesn’t realize what you’re feeling. Tell him that calm seas, sunsets, and pics of him are welcome, and the others he can send to friends.
• Speaking of prayers and vibes, here is a blog post I wrote about sending prayers and vibes to commercial fishermen if this may be helpful: https:/namaste-amen/

Sending you lots of love on this journey. I know it can feel overwhelming, but you can do this! Just start one by one. Get your most important questions answered, rework the investment expectations, and find what works best for you.

Does this help, or do you have anything else on your mind you’d like to discuss? I am/we are here!

xo Megan