Girl, let me break it down: fishermen talk more than any group of people I know. Seriously. If you pop in a boatyard on any given day, 8 times out of 10, you will find fishermen standing around and chatting rather than working on actual boat projects. The same goes for sailors. When Chris and I were preparing to launch our sailboat several years ago, I had to have a serious sit down with him that the boatyard BS had to stop. “There’s a reason Tom has been working on his boats for over twenty years,” I said. “Because he can’t quit bullshitting.”
This can be particularly frustrating when you’re running errands with your partner on his day off, and he insists that he needs to stop by the boatyard or harbor for just a minute. But once he runs into another fisherman, there goes another hour + of your day. Multiply that by 2 if he stops by another fisherman’s house, and they end up talking shop in the garage. I’ve been there, and I feel for you. Below are 5 ways to beat Boatyard or Harbor BS that’s worked for me and will hopefully work for you!
5 Ways To Deal w/ Boatyard BS
1. Have a heart-to-heart. Tell him that you’re all about what he needs to do for his job, but when y’all are together, he needs to reel it in. You could say something like, “Sweetheart, I totally support you and your career, and I love that you learn so much from the other fishermen.” *Then take his hand* “And I love spending time with you on your day off. *Give a smile* “So, if you need to go by the boatyard/harbor while we’re out and about, would you please be mindful of the time? I want to make the most of our time together. Thank you, and I love you so much.”
2 . Use a hand signal. Other than the middle finger. (I’m kidding, I’m kidding.) Something subtle when you catch his eye, like looking at your watch, tugging at your ear, or even shooting him a text, so it buzzes in his pocket mid-convo.
3. Go on a walk. Marinas and boatyards can be pretty interesting to poke around. If it lacks a view, pop in your headset, put on a podcast, and go for a stroll. Great time to get those steps in!
4. “I’m hungry.” This is so good, I wish I had thought of it. My girl Bri Dwyer uses this trick. She says her husband, Sean, knows that hungry turns into hangry, and she’ll go right out and say, “I’m hangry,” if he still doesn’t take the cue. No one wants to deal with a hangry lady. How genius is that?!
5. Drop him off. If y’all have a full day ahead and a limited time to get things done, I recommend dropping him off while you cross a few things off your list. This will save the anxiety of having to wait around and make small talk with other fishermen when you really need to go to the grocery, stop by the post office, get cash at the bank, etc. Give him an hour or so, then call when you pull up to tell him it’s time to go!
Which trick will you try the next time you’re in a boatyard bind? Any others we should know? Please tell us in the comments below!Ā
I canāt tell you how many times Iāve been in this situation. I canāt think of anything that I do except stomp my feet and scream but your ideas sound a lot more pleasant than mine. I will print it out and keep it in my pocket and start reading it out loud next time I am in this situation! Thank you so much!
Jennie
Jennie! Thank you so much for your feedback and for making me and others feel seen! I wondered how this would be taken, but other fishermen have validated that, yes, this is true. A few have said that the BS is a means of learning new tricks of the trade; since many of the fishermen didn’t go to college, this is like their school. I say, yes ladies and gentlemen. I hear you and respect you. However, these tips for us partners who had a whole day planned with our fishermen then found ourselves in the boatyard (which wasn’t on the schedule)! š Taking a book and journal along has proven to be helpful, too! Thank you so much for your comment! Love having you in our special little community!