Hi, Nicole! I’m so so happy you found your way to the forum! Welcome to the incredible sisterhood that only we understand.
Your email is so relatable. I read, nodding along, sipping my coffee like, “Damn, girl. I GET YOU!” I have been there in many forms, and you are off to an amazing and healthy start! First, congratulations on having a career you love. As you mentioned, it’s a savior when the fishermen are gone. Having our own lives apart from our fishermen is essential to a happy relationship and to staying sane in the on and off seasons! They’re always off to work on something to prepare or wind down from fishing when they’re not on the water. You’ve already solidified that, and that’s awesome!
I hear you on not losing your identity. On top of fishing being so consuming, as creatives in a relationship with a fisherman, it can be hard to relate to each other at times when our jobs are SO different. POCF Bri Dwyer and I discussed this in a recent podcast episode. (Click here if you’d like a listen.) When I found myself drowning in a sea of commercial fishing talk (I love dad jokes, too! ha!), I had to have an honest conversation with Chris about my needs in the relationship. I told him I needed him to read my writing (I’m a writer) and listen when I needed to vent about my creative life. He had to retrain his brain, if you will, to get in the mindset with me. He had to learn how my life works, just as I had to learn his. And that’s something else you could say about it. Commercial fishing is consuming, and I support you no matter what, but we both need to make an effort to support each other/listen to each other in our careers and meet each other where we are. It takes time, but keep communicating your needs, and it will become natural.
I just remembered I even wrote a piece called “How to Love an Artist” for Chris to understand where I’m coming from. Maybe it will help you, too! How to Love an Artist.
How exciting that you’ll see your love soon! And yes, it feels like forever when you want it so badly. Keep doing your Boss B thing, ticking off one “to-do” a day, and make time to take a bath or relax in a way that feels good for you when you can. And if they reunion isn’t a Hallmark movie (because sometimes they aren’t!), know that after a few days, you’ll settle into the “us” of it all again.
As always, we are here for you!
Sincerely, Megan
P.S. As Chris and I move into our new home, I realize what a HUGE gift and skill it is to be an interior decorator. Essentially making a box feel like a cozy and loving space is magic all its own. (On that note, may I ask a question if I may be so bold? I’ve always wanted a black room, so I’m turning our sunroom into a yoga room with voodoo vibes. My question is, would you paint the trim black as well, or keep it white? By trim, I mean around the windows and the baseboards. You’re probably like, “Duh, I know what trim is.” LOL! I’m still learning the lingo. I’m thinking of keeping the ceiling white, but open to painting it black. Ah! This is why interior design is such a skill. No pressure, but I would love your opinion if something comes to mind. Thank you, Nicole!
P.P.S. Would you consider being a guest on the podcast? It would be amazing to learn more about your experience as a POCF and interior designer and promote your awesome business. If it feels aligned for you, we can set up a Zoom date and time that works for you! Let me know. Either way, I send my love and reach out here if you ever need me/us!