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Merry Christmas! I am waiting for my fisherman to arrive this evening. I’m so happy I get to spend quality time with him until the 30th when he flies back to California to finish spiny lobster season.
Yes! We’d love to have you in our private chat in the Telegram app! here a link to join, and you’ll have instant access.:
Telegram
https://t.me/+wnNXl5ZZZ9VkNjhh
If you also go to the main home page of the forum, you will see a section to join as well.
Merry Christmas and happy new year! See you in the chat!
Hey, April! I’m happy to hear from you! This forum is free to come and go as you please. We’re never late; we’re always on time. Just know it’s always here for you! 🩷
I’m so sorry to hear what your husband went through. How scary for you both! I can’t imagine how that must have been. It’s great to hear that he’s prioritizing mental health, and you’re both supportive of that for each other.
Just checking on the caretaker – how are you? What can I/we support you in? I’m sure it’s been a lot for him AND you. Have you been able to take a walk or break from time to time? Friendly reminder for POCFs that I’ve heard from others and mental health professionals: as we take care of family and home, we must take care of ourselves. <3
Community with like-minded women is super valuable for that! If texting is better for you, and you want to connect with me and other awesome-like-you POCFs more instantaneously, we have a private group chat that is FREE to all forum members!
*Use this link to get your free forum membership access.*
Click here to learn more. You’ll see the kind of love and support that is available to you! <3
It’s a beautiful way to pop in from time to time and support each other through the challenges and joys of our lifestyles and unique relationships. Some like this option because it’s easy to text when needed.
If you prefer the forum communication as is, it’s all good! I’ll check back in on you here. 🙂
(If helpful, to be notified of forum replies to this convo, you can BLUE CHECK the box under the post “Notify me of follow-up replies via email.” seen in the screenshot below!)
Either way, I’m here for you, April. Keep me posted as it feels comfortable to share, and I’ll keep you and your fisherman in my heart and prayers!
Xo & POCF Pride!,
Megan
Private Podcast with Musician Sara Bug on Gulf Shore Shrimpers and the nuances of long-distance dating a Gulf Shore Fisherman
Private Podcast with Musician Sara Bug on Gulf Shore Shrimpers and the nuances of long-distance dating a Gulf Shore Fisherman here! https://drive.google.com/file/d/1NvbwbAN8UpOPV9X6j17hb5ejlvJsYpA7/view?usp=sharing
In this episode, POCF, Singer/Songwriter, & Restauranteur Sara Bug comes to us from Nashville, Tennessee. If you’re curious about the singer-songwriter’s creative process, love live music, or want to learn a little about running a family seafood restaurant, this episode is for you.
In our special private podcast episode, Sara shares the real plight of shrimpers on the Gulf Coast and more about her long-distance relationship with a Gulf Coast Fisherman. It’s always so fun to learn about other POCFs’experience and their perspectives on this unique lifestyle that only we can relate to! How cool!
Private Podcast with Musician Sara Bug on Gulf Shore Shrimpers and the nuances of long-distance dating a Gulf Shore Fisherman Listen to the PRIVATE PODCAST here! https://drive.google.com/file/d/1NvbwbAN8UpOPV9X6j17hb5ejlvJsYpA7/view?usp=sharing
In case you missed it, here’s Sara’s public podcast episode POCF, Singer/Songwriter, & Restauranteur Sara Bug on the Creative Process + Dating a Gulf Coast Fisherman Ep. 47 on Apple and on Spotify
Image by Bryan Locke
Happy 2024 POCFs! Here’s our private Zoom chat from January 2024.
If you enjoy these recordings or want to join me live, please message me below! I’d love to know if there is interest in keeping this going or if you prefer our other great offers and resources. I’m looking forward to your feedback to make this community the best it can be! Much love and POCF Pride! You are not alone!
Hey, April! I definitely understand those concerns, and I know others do, too. Regarding finances, I’m sharing this link to our Forum Private Resources, which has a free downloadable for organizing finances plus a ton of other helpful materials for navigating money in a commercial fishing household: https:/forums/topic/helpful-resources/
How did y’all hold up during the storms? I can’t believe how it swept through the country like it did – from the tip of Florida past Maine and into Canada! We got some weather here, but we were lucky. I hope y’all faired well, too. <3
Hey, Dawn!
Thank you so much for being open and vulnerable with your current experience. I’m sorry you’re going through this; I’m really glad we can help guide you as best as possible! I took the weekend to think over my answer. Since I haven’t been in this situation, I am proceeding with what I would do in your shoes. (If any other POCFs are reading this and are open to sharing, we’d love to know how you’ve handled/are currently handling this situation so we can all learn from each other. There are no wrong answers. Thank you in advance!)
* I should start by saying I will seek professional financial help on this and get back to you. There are others in this same position, and this topic would make a great podcast interview w a professional, so thanks for the inspo! However, I will share the information with you as soon as I get it so you do not have to wait for the podcast. 🙂
It’s a delicate balance of being romantic + business partners, but many POCFs in our community do it and find success both personally and financially. As I said, I’ll get more opinions on this, but here is what I would do:
- Make a list of questions to ask your fisherman so you can better understand the goals, useful terms, lingo (ex: black cod quota), and expectations. Getting answers will definitely help with anxiety!
- Talk to your fisherman at a specific time to discuss finances. I got this advice from fellow POCF Mo Marankovic, and I’ve implemented it in our relationship, and it helps a lot! The point is to block off some time to dedicate to financial check-ins and planning. Chris and I have tried an hour the last two times, and it’s been nice to know there is an ending – we can both get triggered when talking about money, and a timeline helps us get through it! (If he’s fishing for the season, plan to have a sit down once he’s back and settled, and contact financial pros mentioned in follow bullet points.) It can be difficult to discuss serious matters if he’s on a Sat phone with a bad signal. If it’s something pressing, ask if he’s able to answer the top 1-3 questions you have.
- Once you designate a time to chat, use the time to have him explain all the stuff that comes with ownership and what you need to be aware of.
- Maybe a shared *business* bank account comes into play. (You can make an appointment with your local bank to discuss options.)
- Maybe there is a percentage in mind for unexpected repairs. Even though this could vary by the hundreds to thousands, it’s comforting to know money is put aside for it.
- This also would be a good time to discuss the Deadliest Catch and if you are receiving any consistent income that could be used towards the investment or reimbursement.
- Figure out when you’ll get reimbursed for your investment, even a little bit, so you can feel a return on your worth.
- Maybe you create a contract so you both understand what your roles are going forward. This can become an empowering couple ritual to check in every so often as you nurture plans for your future!
- Here is a FREE budget template I made to help navigate home, fishing business, POCF biz expenses, and more. Check out the fishing business tab to see what kind of expenses fishing businesses can have (subjective, but still a great outline!). https:/forums/topic/helpful-resources/
- As for the draining of your bank account, I can totally understand this stress! Chris and I were doing 50/50 on expenses, but it wasn’t fair because fishing brings in bigger chunks of money at a time compared to freelance writing. I did some research, and what I found that works for us is a method by Suze Orman. She says to split equal % percentages, not equal amounts of money. The concept is that each person has the same percentage taken out of their income, so one person who makes less isn’t draining their account to pay the same amount. As a woman, I believe it’s important to protect your money/savings and know where it’s going. You’ll feel so much better once you get this figured out, and you can do it! Here’s the link to explain better: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3emUCPu8SU
- Make an appointment to call the accountant and bank (or visit, if nearby) to get further questions answered and to check in on what expectations are of you. This is really helpful if your fisherman is fishing and in no way able to have a conversation. Remembers it’s your money, and you have a right to know about your investment. Answers here will lessen anxiety, too!
- When you have the time to chat, what the money in the bank he has saved for 19yrs is going towards and why you have to contribute so much of your personal income. Find a way that works for you so you feel secure going forward.
- As for the anxiety of their safety, you are not alone. This is a big one that all POCFs go through and work through in time. The short answer is that you’ve got to trust in their abilities, send positive thoughts for their safety, and continue on with your life. I know how this sounds, but after interviewing many POCFs with up to 50 years of experience, and in my own 8-year experience, this is the only way. It is SO EASY to get tangled in the weeds of “What Ifs.” So much energy goes into it that we begin to harm ourselves with overwhelming anxiety and fear. We’ve got to send the positive energy/prayers out and return to present space and time and keep going to enjoy our lives. We cannot live in fear!!! That will rob us of our own unique experience of being a POCF, a woman, and a human on this planet. As for the pics, tell your fisherman to send pictures of him and not giant waves. He probably thinks it’s cool and doesn’t realize what you’re feeling. Tell him that calm seas, sunsets, and pics of him are welcome, and the others he can send to friends.
- Speaking of prayers and vibes, here is a blog post I wrote about sending prayers and vibes to commercial fishermen if this may be helpful: https:/namaste-amen/
Sending you lots of love on this journey. I know it can feel overwhelming, but you can do this! Just start one by one. Get your most important questions answered, rework the investment expectations, and find what works best for you.
Does this help, or do you have anything else on your mind you’d like to discuss? I am/we are here!
xo Megan
Hey, Dawn!
I’m so happy you made it in! Welcome to the adventurous life of a POCF! We understand it can feel overwhelming at times, but we are hear to guide you through so you are thriving in your best *independent-within-a-strong-partnership* experience as a POCF.
I would love to share with the group how you met your fisherman and how you got involved in owning a boat. We have other POCFs in the group who have invested in the fishing business/boat as well!
Also, I’m so sorry to hear that you’re experiencing panic attacks. That is scary, as I’ve experienced them before and they are not fun at all. What do you think is causing the panic attacks? Is there a specific thought that triggers them? I just released a podcast episode about why I went to therapy and helpful takeaways I learned from my therapist to help overcome anxiety. Here’s a link to the episode on Apple if you may find this helpful. (Here’s another for Spotify, and it’s on many other favorite platforms, too!)
If you’re open to sharing what triggers you, I’d be happy to help guide you through the best way I know how. You are not alone! xo
11/9/2023 Recording: Private Live Zoom from the Pacific Marine Expo in Seattle, Washington.
Hey, POCFs! Here’s a recording of the LIVE Zoom I did during the Pacific Marine Expo in Seattle, WA, on 11/9/2023. It’s a quick recap of the expo and a behind-the-scenes look at what it’s like to host the Partners of Commercial Fishermen Parlor for a Dockside Chat presented by National Fisherman Magazine. I discuss the growth and acceptance of our community over the years and express my wish to improve support for POCFs. We also have a guest appearance with Trish Whitstone of the BC Young Fishermen’s Network and Sena Wheeler, 5th Generation Fisherman’s Wife and co-owner of Sena Sea Seafood Company! I hope to see you at our next private Zoom meeting on Sunday, December 3rd!
Private Podcast with Sena Wheeler of Sena Sea Seafood
Private Podcast: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1NyMgZlJzYiHNQkHgMC0qQnKsGMyJbmQR/view?usp=sharing
This private podcast with Sena Wheeler is REAL talk on how she manages a family of three kids while her hubby is fishing in Alaska for six months out of the year, and her best recommendation for having bigger home/family discussions, like finances, in a healthy way.
As a bonus, Sena wanted to share the images to give a better insight into what motherhood and family look like for this West Coast family. I hope you enjoy this private chat just for us!
Private Podcast: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1NyMgZlJzYiHNQkHgMC0qQnKsGMyJbmQR/view?usp=sharing
Partners of Commercial Fishermen Podcast: “6 Mo. Long-Distance From Fisherman While Raising 3 Kids w Sena Wheeler of Sena Sea.”
On Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4ikhPjlLKYuVAaIogg1OpW?si=9vMXD72YQ1OrKRonnEAdfg
Private Podcast: Trish Whetstone, Coordinator of the BC Young Fishermen’s Network
Private Podcast: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1PVskJCwXlqwMBY7jMd5JVR4-0uMLvnb7/view?usp=sharing
This one is a behind-the-scenes of a Boss B*tch speaking from the heart, then needing to go back and review. Trish Whetstone is full of heart and personality anyway, and it’s even better when she agrees to chat with “just us” POCFs behind closed doors for a private podcast right after her passionate interview. Here’s the link to the Private Podcast, but if you’d like to hear where this conversation begins, links below for the goods!
Trish Whetstone, Coordinator of the BC Young Fishermen’s Network
Private Podcast: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1PVskJCwXlqwMBY7jMd5JVR4-0uMLvnb7/view?usp=sharing
More Resources:
Trish on Apple Podcast:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/partners-of-commercial-fishermen/id1689251577?i=1000629999793
Trish on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/029MKGVTAMoiiliGc7p4Nk?si=cOqkSrDHSqacESjHNMjbQA
POCF Private Pod: Melissa Collier of West Coast Wild Scallops, BC, Vancouver Island, Canada
Private Podcast: https://drive.google.com/file/d/19H6XR05ztoKVymzE_84k6s96chFvwFFR/view?usp=sharing
This conversation inspired a piece in National Fisherman that went semi-viral in the BC commercial fishing community, I am told. I am so honored to help facilitate a fellow POCF to speak their truth and get their voices heard!
Melissa goes off, and it is inspiring to hear what this POCF, mom, and small business owner is working to improve and fight for their fishery. Note: She DID know this was being recorded for the private podcast series, so that you know 😉 , and she gets really personal about what’s happening to the fisheries up there. It’s just different when you speak to people who get you, am I right? (That’s you, POCF!)
If you are interested in advocacy work, this is how you do it. Melissa is also super open and looking forward to connecting with you, too!
Also, I would love to help be a platform for you in that way if needed. Let’s get your story told on the public podcast (or private if you prefer), National Fisherman Magazine, the POCF Blog, and more. Contact support@pocfpride.com to start the convo!
Melissa Collier of West Coast Wild Scallops, BC, Vancouver Island, Canada:
Private Podcast: https://drive.google.com/file/d/19H6XR05ztoKVymzE_84k6s96chFvwFFR/view?usp=sharing
Other Resources:
Melissa Collier of West Coast Wild Scallops in National Fisherman: https://www.nationalfisherman.com/canadian-gov-t-threatens-bc-closures-here-s-what-fishing-families-are-doing-to-survive
Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-run-a-family-wholesale-fishing-business/id1689251577?i=1000629161128
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4pLpmg9lJdG59oTeXrO6zs?si=dZlyZVWwSPaahs6VRilg5g
10/8/23 Recording Private Zoom:
Money Talks: Money Advice from POCF Community & Budgeting Google Spreadsheet + Bonus Resources Below! Oct 8, 2023, 03:30 PM Eastern Time (US and Canada)
- FREE Downloadable: Budgeting For Commercial Fishing Households https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1agadflUHjy0XG6ilzJKw3a9jh5yM-PcAyDca6ISJxD0/copyMONEY RESOURCES POCF ZOOM: MONEY TALK (ALL LINKS):
- Commercial Fishing CPA Info: https:/commercial-fishing-cpa
- Fish Wife Maureen Marinkovich of San Juan Island, Washington, guides seasonal income management:
- 36 years with a Commercial Fisherman Budgeting Tips with Jolene Colomy of Santa Barbara, CA: https:/36-years-part-2/
- *FREE* Fishing & Household BUDGET DOWNLOADABLE: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1agadflUHjy0XG6ilzJKw3a9jh5yM-PcAyDca6ISJxD0/copy
- Books on Managing Money:
- Financial Peace by Dave Ramsey: https://amzn.to/3F9pcOD
- Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert T. Kiyosaki: https://amzn.to/46DxMRo
- The Money Class by Suze Orman: https://amzn.to/3F9pcOD
