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Diary of a POCF Chapter 4: The Home Stretch Read the Post

I love connecting w Jenny Gore Dwyer @jdwyer1987 on the POCF life because she speaks from the heart & the immense love that was shared w her husband, Pat, that continues to her two kids, daughter-in-law, and grand baby is ever present. This is a peak from our interview, currently on meganwaldrep.com (link in bio!).

Q: Were there challenges when your fisherman returned after a long season?

A: “The transition home was tough as well. I’d been in charge of everything at home while Pat was gone. I just did things, didn’t really ask anyone about it, and tried to do the best I could. Then, Pat would come home. All of a sudden, there would be questions like, “Why did you do that?” or “How come you didn’t do it that way?” Or the super annoying questions like, “When is dinner going to be ready?”

It was hard to have someone come in and make you feel like you didn’t do everything right while they were gone. But what I tried to remember was that he, too, was making his own adjustments.

He was transitioning from being a captain on a boat, in charge of a crew and their safety and livelihood. He went from being the boss of it all to trying to come home and be a dad and a husband…where he wasn’t in charge of it all.

However, after about three weeks, we figured things out, and the days found a new rhythm with two parents at home…”

What part of Jenny’s answer speaks to you?

#motherhood #commercialfishing #jennygoredwyer #partnersofcommercialfishermen #pocfpride @bdwyer1989 @captseandwyer @bri.dwyer (that’s your Boo 😄)

📍Two moms who live in the same town found each other through this blog post, and I feel like a kid on Christmas Day. ⚓️👯‍♀️🥲

I love our community, and on days when I’m feeling low, wondering if I’m “doing the right thing,” comments and connections like this are like mile markers to keep pushing through.

I niched my blog to focus on POCFs during the pandemic. Almost three years later, I’m created offers based on our joys and pain points by doing what I love most - listening and connecting to our community!

I want to help make your experience as a POCF the best it can be. 🏆

Because of that, a VIP All-Inclusive Retreat experience is happening in the fall! It’s going to be so freakin fun, life-giving, and relaxing AF, w opportunities that can help relieve stress & overwhelm in the on and off seasons. Who likes the sound of that?! Link in bio to learn more!

Where are the other POCF moms out there and where do you live? 🙋‍♀️

#fishingmom #soloparenting #commercialfishing #partnersofcommercialfishermen #POCFpride

“Put your oxygen mask on before helping others,” is what the flight attendant just announced on my flight from Boston to LA (flying home after the seafood Expo.) Her words reminded me of this DM I recently received, and it kind of broke my heart.
I realize this is the story for many POCFs. But I wonder, when will it stop?

It made me think: Since we are relied on for literally everything for our household (for days, weeks, or months at a time), what simple things can we do to make our experience as partners of commercial fisherman more enjoyable? ✨How can we make our LIVES as women more enjoyable?! ✨

Bc our life doesn’t begin and end in the on and off-seasons. It’s happening every single day.

Our POCF Retreat is the was created just for this reason, and if you’re interested in joining, please DM me for more info!

I hope y’all are doing great out there. And if you’re struggling, you’re not alone. If you feel you’re in a spiral that won’t stop, try writing down what you do in a day, and see what can be tweaked or left out. (Inspired by this DM!) I promise there is room for you if willing to prioritize it.

Q: When you’re in the midst of a crazy season, what do you do to check in on yourself? How do you find support so you can support the ones you love?

#selfcare #mentalhealthbreak
#commercialfishing #fishingcouple #partnersofcommercialfishermen #pocfpride

💓⚓️No wrong answers: 1) Do you actually want time for yourself? Do your want more to life/your experience as a POCF?

Or

2) Are you OK with where you are? Or, at least, OK enough to not want to change?

There’s no shame in either, and never any judgment! But I would love to know, which one are you?

1 or 2? 🤔 ⚓️👯‍♀️💓

#womensupportingwomen #partnersofcommercialfishermen #POCFpride

Thank you @julssolomon for recommending these questions for us to get down to what we really want and need. 💓

I was super surprised to learn signs of codependency, and I definitely checked off more than a few boxes 🫣 If you feel triggered, you’re not alone. Turns out that codependency happens to even the most independent women (that’s us)! 👯‍♀️⚓️
I have to remind myself that triggers are starting off points to better ourselves (although that sentence just triggered me 😆) Being a POCF doesn’t need to feel like never ending thankless job, although it can feel that way at times.
One way we can change that is by taking a damn break - whether it’s 15 minutes, a lunch w a friend or a beautiful all-inclusive three day retreat with fellow fish sisters & professional guidance to give us the skills we need to succeed in the on an off seasons. Remember: in order to give the love our Fishermen and families deserve, we must first turn that love back to ourselves. 💞
Link in bio to learn more abt the retreat or DM me with any questions you may have. I can’t wait to connect with you!

How will you show love to yourself today? This week? This month?

#codependency #mentalhealth #therapy #metime #takeabreak #retreat #retreatyourself #partnersofcommercialfishermen

One of the biggest pain points I’ve noticed in my community is that POCFs aren’t taking time for themselves. Like…at all. It’s not only from the guilt and shame that many women carry, it’s not realizing the immense contribution to the family business because they are on auto-pilot to “do all the things” without stopping to notice all they have done.

(I mean, how can we recognize it if we’re not taking time just to breathe?)

I wonder, is it the desire to feel needed that is holding us back?

I’ve felt challenged by this, and it took therapy for me to see how much I was subconsciously powered by my need to feel needed. Control issues come in many forms, and being the go-to for our households can fuel it. (YIKES!)

To get out of the rut, we must ask: What am I doing now JUST FOR ME to step back and fill my cup? What simple things do I implement so I don’t break down or lose it?

From Reel: “I focus on the emotional part of being with a commercial fisherman and what it’s like for the partners at home… how to navigate creating your own space and your own time and doing what *nourishes your soul* so you can do it for your partner and your family.”

This clip is from an interview with w @bri.dwyer back in August 2021 (currently on the new POCF YouTube Channel!) and the message rings true now more than ever.

If you’re open, please share your self-care tips in the comments below so others can be inspired to try them, too!

#commercialfishing #partnersofcommercialfishermen #fishingcouples #commercialfishermen #mentalhealth #metime #takeabreak #maternalmentalhealth #momlife #POCFpride

Taking time for ourselves seems to be a universal challenge with women in our community.
We are available to everyone: the fishing business, family, friends, but when it comes to taking time out for ourselves, there seems to be some kind of guilt or shame surrounding it. I’ve felt it at times, too. But why though?

A few days ago, I posted for responses on recent vacations people have taken. But the funny thing is, none of the answers came from active partners of commercial fisherman. They were from amazing advocates of our social community, however, not one POCF responded. The silence made me think…

We all need a break sometimes, especially women in our lifestyle. So I’m wondering, what is the resistance that we have with taking time out for ourselves?

There is an incredible opportunity happening this fall, and I’d love for you to join us. Link in bio to learn more about the *first ever POCF retreat,* and the plans in store that will make it a transformational experience to benefit, not only your mental health, but your partnership and relationships, too.

If we feel responsible for “all the things,” what do you feel would have to happen in order for you to take time just for you?

#mentalhealthbreak #metime #solotrip #mentalhealthawareness #vacation #fishingcouples #commercialfishing #commercialfishermen #partnersofcommercialfishermen #POCFpride

I love connecting w Jenny Gore Dwyer @jdwyer1987 on the POCF life because she speaks from the heart & the immense love that was shared w her husband, Pat, that continues to her two kids, daughter-in-law, and grand baby is ever present. This is a peak from our interview, currently on meganwaldrep.com (link in bio!).

Q: Were there challenges when your fisherman returned after a long season?

A: “The transition home was tough as well. I’d been in charge of everything at home while Pat was gone. I just did things, didn’t really ask anyone about it, and tried to do the best I could. Then, Pat would come home. All of a sudden, there would be questions like, “Why did you do that?” or “How come you didn’t do it that way?” Or the super annoying questions like, “When is dinner going to be ready?”

It was hard to have someone come in and make you feel like you didn’t do everything right while they were gone. But what I tried to remember was that he, too, was making his own adjustments.

He was transitioning from being a captain on a boat, in charge of a crew and their safety and livelihood. He went from being the boss of it all to trying to come home and be a dad and a husband…where he wasn’t in charge of it all.

However, after about three weeks, we figured things out, and the days found a new rhythm with two parents at home…”

What part of Jenny’s answer speaks to you?

#motherhood #commercialfishing #jennygoredwyer #partnersofcommercialfishermen #pocfpride @bdwyer1989 @captseandwyer @bri.dwyer (that’s your Boo 😄)

📍Two moms who live in the same town found each other through this blog post, and I feel like a kid on Christmas Day. ⚓️👯‍♀️🥲

I love our community, and on days when I’m feeling low, wondering if I’m “doing the right thing,” comments and connections like this are like mile markers to keep pushing through.

I niched my blog to focus on POCFs during the pandemic. Almost three years later, I’m created offers based on our joys and pain points by doing what I love most - listening and connecting to our community!

I want to help make your experience as a POCF the best it can be. 🏆

Because of that, a VIP All-Inclusive Retreat experience is happening in the fall! It’s going to be so freakin fun, life-giving, and relaxing AF, w opportunities that can help relieve stress & overwhelm in the on and off seasons. Who likes the sound of that?! Link in bio to learn more!

Where are the other POCF moms out there and where do you live? 🙋‍♀️

#fishingmom #soloparenting #commercialfishing #partnersofcommercialfishermen #POCFpride

“Put your oxygen mask on before helping others,” is what the flight attendant just announced on my flight from Boston to LA (flying home after the seafood Expo.) Her words reminded me of this DM I recently received, and it kind of broke my heart.
I realize this is the story for many POCFs. But I wonder, when will it stop?

It made me think: Since we are relied on for literally everything for our household (for days, weeks, or months at a time), what simple things can we do to make our experience as partners of commercial fisherman more enjoyable? ✨How can we make our LIVES as women more enjoyable?! ✨

Bc our life doesn’t begin and end in the on and off-seasons. It’s happening every single day.

Our POCF Retreat is the was created just for this reason, and if you’re interested in joining, please DM me for more info!

I hope y’all are doing great out there. And if you’re struggling, you’re not alone. If you feel you’re in a spiral that won’t stop, try writing down what you do in a day, and see what can be tweaked or left out. (Inspired by this DM!) I promise there is room for you if willing to prioritize it.

Q: When you’re in the midst of a crazy season, what do you do to check in on yourself? How do you find support so you can support the ones you love?

#selfcare #mentalhealthbreak
#commercialfishing #fishingcouple #partnersofcommercialfishermen #pocfpride

💓⚓️No wrong answers: 1) Do you actually want time for yourself? Do your want more to life/your experience as a POCF?

Or

2) Are you OK with where you are? Or, at least, OK enough to not want to change?

There’s no shame in either, and never any judgment! But I would love to know, which one are you?

1 or 2? 🤔 ⚓️👯‍♀️💓

#womensupportingwomen #partnersofcommercialfishermen #POCFpride

Thank you @julssolomon for recommending these questions for us to get down to what we really want and need. 💓

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