Guest Post: Confessions of a Fisherman’s (Almost) Wife

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What makes our community so special is learning from others’ experiences in commercial fishing life. So, when Dawn mentioned she started a blog and that her first post was about the ups and downs of being “seasonally single” while her partner fished in the Bering Sea, I immediately clicked to read and got all the “I totally get you” vibes that only POCFs can understand. 

This is an inspiring piece, and I’m hoping to post more POCF stories here. If you’ve got a story to share, please let me know, as I’d love to help you connect with others in the same boat! Without furhter ado, here’s Dawn Clutter and her uplifting story about one woman’s return to self-love through a long-distance relationship.

POCF Guest Post: Confessions of a Fisherman’s (Almost) Wife

by Dawn Clutter

When he first told me he was going to be a commercial fisherman in the Bering Sea, I thought, “sure, dude.” I seriously expected him to entertain the idea for about two weeks while he did all his research, and then he’d come to me and say, “this isn’t for me after all.”

And then, he left.

For about two weeks, I wandered around the house, feeling all the empty spaces. I felt like I’d been dumped and was alone to fend for myself, except I hadn’t been, and this was still someone else’s home.

What do you do, right? You find things to fill those empty spaces. I moved my office space (I work from home, for now) into a spare bedroom, which now serves as a complete office paired with a gigantic walk-in closet, basically.

I threw stuff away. If I didn’t fill both trash bins to capacity come trash day, I felt unaccomplished.

I cleaned. And I cleaned some more.

I remodeled our bathroom. Well, I hired someone to remodel our bathroom.

I bought new furniture, and I put it together – BY MYSELF.

I learned how to use the snowblower.

I signed up for a yoga class with a friend.

I went out for lunch.

I went out for dinner.

I read books.

I caught up on TV shows.

I watched movies.

I learned how to play a few new songs on my keyboard.

But, mostly, I just kept BUSY. That was the goal – busy enough to disconnect from the fact he was gone.

He’ll be home soon. I am so happy and can’t wait to see him.

BUT…

What have I learned? I learned that I forgot who I was, that I was so content with just being his that I forgot to be my own, too. Ultimately, it all boiled down to the question, “if you could do all these things with him gone, why couldn’t you do all these things with him here?”

So, while he is out navigating those violent, angry waves searching for fish, I am at home navigating my own violent, angry waves, searching for myself. And I think I’ve found her.

I am looking forward to our new adventure, for him to come home and leave and come home and leave and come home again. It’s a rollercoaster relationship, but what an exciting ride. We will learn together how to navigate the waters, and now and even after I (soon) become his wife, we will navigate these waters together, albeit under a different view of the sky.🐟

To learn more about Dawn and her writing, visit: sweetpoetickarma.blogspot.com  or follow her on Instagram @PoeticKarma1027.

Can you identify with Dawn’s experience with a Bering Sea Fisherman? Which parts speak most to you? Would love to know your thoughts in the comments below!

If you liked this, you’d love POCF Mama on Raising a Toddler During Year-Long Fishing Seasons

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Managing Three Kids in a Commercial Fishing Family

“It sounds so cliché, but you have to learn to date each other,” Cydney Ferris said. “Being together and having children, you have to keep the love alive. You’ll have highs and lows, which we still do…but we’re both on the same page, and that’s important.”

Cydney is a mom of three children under the age of 11 at the time of writing. Her husband, Brandon Ferris, is a veteran who works as a deckhand on the F/V Brenna A. (The crew of the F/V Brenna A was a former mainstay on Discovery Channel’s Deadliest Catch.)

Cydney’s story of caring for children while her husband fishes for months on end is a story of resilience – the challenge of “keeping it together” is what many mothers of commercial fishing families often endure alone.

Cydney took a moment to share the real truth about what life is like for her and her family. But, although challenges exist for commercial fishing families, the pay-offs are bountiful and second to none. Without further ado, Meet Cydney:

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Jenny Gore Dwyer on Motherhood in the ’90s w a Fisherman in AK

I feel like Jenny is one of the matriarchs of our community. Over the years, Jenny has shared such intimate and touching stories with her fisherman and family with words soaked in love and understanding. It’s the writer in Jenny that beautifully translates the emotions of a fisherman’s wife and the mother in her that delivers stories like a warm hug. 

So, you can imagine how TRILLED I was that Jenny was open to further sharing insights on motherhood, and I know you will feel the same after reading this interview. See how Jenny navigated this challenging lifestyle before technology – with an entirely new set of trials in the mix! Through Jenny’s wisdom, I hope there are takeaways that will make you feel seen and less alone for the incredible women and mothers that you are. (We love our POCF mamas, and we are here for you!)

Without further ado, here is one of our favorite Partners of a Commercial Fisherman, Jenny Gore Dwyer! 

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