We’ve been married for over a year now, and this piece still hits! It was first published in the I Heart column in the Santa Barbara Sentinel as “What’s With the Ring?” in March 2019. Can you relate? Please share in the comments below!

Diary: Why Do We Want to Get Married Anyway?

I want to get married, and some of my California friends wonder why.

I blame my family. The strongest relationships I grew up around were married couples. So, no matter how long I live on the West Coast, consuming Reishi mushroom tea and açai bowls, I’m still a traditional girl at heart.

Because marriage, to me, means security. That you’re wanted and desired. It means you both chose each other over everyone else in the world. And as far as your love life is concerned, you’ve figured out that part.

Of course, this isn’t always the case. Rings come off, people get divorced, and relationships end.

As a woman in her late thirties, I have enough experience to know the risks involved when committing to another. For example, you have your dreams and goals, then suddenly, you fall in love and want to build a life with another who has dreams and goals of their own.

Then, the give-and-take begins: How much are you willing to compromise? What sacrifices are at stake? (more…)