Diary: First Day of Fishing Season Blues & How To Beat Them

Diary of a Partner of a Commercial Fisherman
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Diary: First Day of Fishing Season Blues & How To Beat Them

*Written at the beginning of the 2022 season, yet still applies!

Today* is the first day of spiny lobster season in California, and I am currently writing to you from an empty house. The emotions are a mix of highs and lows, and although I am alone, I am not alone with my feelings because we get each other. (The number one way of getting through the weirdness is knowing there are plenty of POCFs who can relate!) With this in mind, here we go…

Our spiny lobster season started like this: I’ve been out of town for a week with family, and on my last day in NY, Chris texted that his deckhand had quit after only six days.

Great.

I panicked at the thought of Chris fishing alone but painstakingly calmed myself because there was absolutely nothing I could do. As a control freak, I tend to take over, and after seven years of being with a fisherman, I considered it my first step in a looooooong journey of letting go when it comes to Chris’s job. Instead of wigging, I said a prayer.

I get back to our house in California just before midnight on Monday. Chris left on Tuesday at four in the morning, and I haven’t seen him since. He’s expected for dinner tonight – no idea when – and maybe, if we’re lucky, a quick cuddle on the couch before he passes out to leave at four in the morning again. 

We’re passing ships in the night; half-asleep kisses are the only real connection we’ve had. Although the spiny lobster fishery is local – compared to a very long distance when he fishes Bristol Bay, Alaska – the rush of a season creates a strange detachment that makes you feel miles apart even when you’re sleeping inches away. 

Here’s a DM from a POCF in England who’s been through the same thing: (more…)

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Diary: Confessions of a Captain’s Wife Trying Not To Lose It Pre-Season

It’s funny. Each year, we expect the pre-and-post-season’s goodbyes, reunions, and stresses to go differently, easier than the last time. And, sometimes, they do. But partners in our Private FB group and I have discovered that it can get more challenging. Like, make-you-cry-when-you-haven’t-cried-in-years challenging. Or those moments simply remind you how fleeting life can be.

I reread this entry with mounting anxiety as Chris and I enter into spiny lobster season in California, which is a reminder that I need to work on “letting shit go.” (The practice that never ends! Am I right?) If you can relate, please share in the blog’s comments section to connect! Thanks for reading, and I hope everyone is doing great out there! Xo – Megan

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55 Yr Old POCF Shares Relationship Fears w A Fisherman

What can be more unpredictable than the weather? A relationship with a commercial fisherman!

I kid, I kid.

But the thing is, relationships take work, and relationships with commercial fishermen take even more. A lot of it is mental, as seen in this next blog. Past relationship trauma can bring up all kinds of stuff when lack of communication is involved. And we GET LOTS OF THAT DURING A FISHING SEASON, DON’T WE?!

This next post originated from a comment in response to How-To Long Distance Date a Commercial Fisherman. What would you tell our new friend? How can you relate?

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