Diary: Why Do We Want to Get Married Anyway?

Logo Silhouette of woman on a wave

We’ve been married for over a year now, and this piece still hits! It was first published in the I Heart column in the Santa Barbara Sentinel as “What’s With the Ring?” in March 2019. Can you relate? Please share in the comments below!

Diary: Why Do We Want to Get Married Anyway?

I want to get married, and some of my California friends wonder why.

I blame my family. The strongest relationships I grew up around were married couples. So, no matter how long I live on the West Coast, consuming Reishi mushroom tea and açai bowls, I’m still a traditional girl at heart.

Because marriage, to me, means security. That you’re wanted and desired. It means you both chose each other over everyone else in the world. And as far as your love life is concerned, you’ve figured out that part.

Of course, this isn’t always the case. Rings come off, people get divorced, and relationships end.

As a woman in her late thirties, I have enough experience to know the risks involved when committing to another. For example, you have your dreams and goals, then suddenly, you fall in love and want to build a life with another who has dreams and goals of their own.

Then, the give-and-take begins: How much are you willing to compromise? What sacrifices are at stake? (more…)

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Diary: How Do You Say Hello & Goodbye at the Airport? LDR w a Fisherman.

OMG, the airport goodbyes that we are too familiar with!
I love this piece; possibly in my top three. I originally wrote this essay for the LA Times “LA Affairs” submissions, but it never got published. (Writers get TONS of rejections – you start wearing them as badges at some point.)
Back to the juicy love part, I’d love to know if you and your fisher were/are in a long-distance relationship and how that helped or challenged our relationship. I have to say, though the “goodbyes” were tough for Chris and I, having my independent life while slowly getting to know him was very helpful to establish a strong foundation. It also set the tone for dating a commercial fisherman, and how nurturing that independent life is crucial during fishing seasons. (Do you agree?)
I hope you enjoy this piece as much as I did writing it. Big hugs, community! I love that we are together in this special partner of commercial fisherman lifestyle! 🐟💕

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RELATIONSHIP UPDATE from Aussie Dating a Fisher!

RELATIONSHIP UPDATE from our Aussie POCF who needed advice on dating an American fisherman. You may want to kick this guy’s ass like I do after you read it. What advice would you give? Please leave in the comments!

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