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9/10/23 Recording Private Zoom:
This is more of a confessional where I talk about a conversation on Instagram that rubbed people the wrong way. We love female fishermen, and some are even POCFs, too! Here’s where I explain it all.
Jennie!
Wow, what an incredible impact you made on the world! I teared up reading this post, as it is inspiring, encouraging, and so generous. The toy drive is so touching and remarkable. Hats off to you and your ifish peeps for bringing semi-truck loads of joy to those kids! And what your community has done for the sport fishing community is amazing! I remember you mentioning the lures, and what a cool way to get people involved (and create a fury of desire on Ebay. So cool!) I also really appreciate you breaking down how you were able to moderate ifish. I am continuously working on how to make this forum better, and I’m definitely taking notes on how you did it.
Yes, what a dream it would be to have a big potluck dinner with POCFs around the world. Maybe within a 10-year period, it will happen, and you will most definitely be there! 🙂
Thank you, Jennie! I so appreciate you!
On that note, I’m figuring out a new topic for the next Zoom in October. What current challenges are you facing at the moment at a POCF or what are you most interested in connecting with other POCFs about?
THANK YOU JENNIE! BIG HUGS FROM NORTH CAROLINA!
Megan
Jennie! It’s worth the wait; I’m so glad you’re here. I’m so impressed/fascinated by the previous forum that you created. Maybe we can host a Zoom meeting with each other (or podcast!) that explains the experience you had and what people can expect from a forum. I’m still getting my bearings here, but I’m looking for new ways to make this place feel fun, safe, and LUXE for us.
What are you most interested in in the POCF lifestyle? Let me know, as I’d love to learn new ways to make this exciting and valuable to you.
I’ll keep posting in the Virtual and In-Person event Section for more updates, too.
Big hugs, and thank you for chatting with other women in the forum! I love your love and social energy. Much welcomed here!
LOVE AND POCF PRIDE! Talk soon! 😉
Hi, Jennifer! We are so happy that you found us! You sound like you lead a lovely, active, and beautiful life! I am also a yogi and need to practice daily, or I get “squirrely.” LOL!
If I may ask, what brought you to the forum? I’d love to learn more ways to make it valuable to you! I wonder if posting some of my favorite yoga practices would be fun. Or, it could be fun to do a simultaneous yoga session one day. Do you teach? Am I making it too complicated? :).
Thanks so much for being here! Where are you located in RI?
BIG HUGS AND POCF PRIDE!
Megan
Hey, April! So happy you found your way here! Perfect timing, as your podcast interview just went live today! Here’s a link:
Peek into the life of Rhode Island POCF April Ostapchuk
I’d love to start a conversation with the group about what’s important for them. What is something that is on your mind now that you would like support in?
Hey, Cassie! So happy to have you here – a safe space to vent with those who will not judge you for it! What you’ve been through is incredible, and your feelings are valid. It’s not an easy life in general. Then add COVID to the mix for you and your baby, and that would send anyone over the edge. I’d love to hear what our POCF moms have to say. The first thing I thought of is talking to your fisherman next time he’s in town to figure out a new system. I know it can feel like there isn’t any wiggle room, but if you’re able to express your feelings and needs, I’m sure there’s a solution in there, even if it’s a tiny adjustment. Life is definitely different with a baby in tow, so this would make sense and isn’t coming out of nowhere, you know?
Also, what kind of support do you have at home right now? Do you have family, friends, or friendly neighbors you can lean on from time to time? Many of my moms-friends say they wish they had accepted help or asked for help more when their kids were younger. You don’t need to feel bad about it, either. As a woman without kids, I’d be happy to help my friend out for a few hours if she needs time to herself. Believe me; we want our female friends not to feel so alone! Sometimes, we don’t know how to help, but if there were a request, we’d understand where we can step in and show our love. Take a survey of those around you. Maybe there are people you can rotate to reach out to once a week (or more). Look around at your sweet baby’s birthday this weekend and take inventory of the love surrounding you and ask someone if they can watch her for a few hours next week if that would be helpful for you. Go grab a coffee by yourself, or lay down and take a nap! You are loved. Sometimes people just need to know how to show it. Sending you all the support I can. I hope this is helpful. Please keep us posted! We are here for you!
Hi, Nicole! I’m so so happy you found your way to the forum! Welcome to the incredible sisterhood that only we understand.
Your email is so relatable. I read, nodding along, sipping my coffee like, “Damn, girl. I GET YOU!” I have been there in many forms, and you are off to an amazing and healthy start! First, congratulations on having a career you love. As you mentioned, it’s a savior when the fishermen are gone. Having our own lives apart from our fishermen is essential to a happy relationship and to staying sane in the on and off seasons! They’re always off to work on something to prepare or wind down from fishing when they’re not on the water. You’ve already solidified that, and that’s awesome!
I hear you on not losing your identity. On top of fishing being so consuming, as creatives in a relationship with a fisherman, it can be hard to relate to each other at times when our jobs are SO different. POCF Bri Dwyer and I discussed this in a recent podcast episode. (Click here if you’d like a listen.) When I found myself drowning in a sea of commercial fishing talk (I love dad jokes, too! ha!), I had to have an honest conversation with Chris about my needs in the relationship. I told him I needed him to read my writing (I’m a writer) and listen when I needed to vent about my creative life. He had to retrain his brain, if you will, to get in the mindset with me. He had to learn how my life works, just as I had to learn his. And that’s something else you could say about it. Commercial fishing is consuming, and I support you no matter what, but we both need to make an effort to support each other/listen to each other in our careers and meet each other where we are. It takes time, but keep communicating your needs, and it will become natural.
I just remembered I even wrote a piece called “How to Love an Artist” for Chris to understand where I’m coming from. Maybe it will help you, too! How to Love an Artist.
How exciting that you’ll see your love soon! And yes, it feels like forever when you want it so badly. Keep doing your Boss B thing, ticking off one “to-do” a day, and make time to take a bath or relax in a way that feels good for you when you can. And if they reunion isn’t a Hallmark movie (because sometimes they aren’t!), know that after a few days, you’ll settle into the “us” of it all again.
As always, we are here for you!
Sincerely, Megan
P.S. As Chris and I move into our new home, I realize what a HUGE gift and skill it is to be an interior decorator. Essentially making a box feel like a cozy and loving space is magic all its own. (On that note, may I ask a question if I may be so bold? I’ve always wanted a black room, so I’m turning our sunroom into a yoga room with voodoo vibes. My question is, would you paint the trim black as well, or keep it white? By trim, I mean around the windows and the baseboards. You’re probably like, “Duh, I know what trim is.” LOL! I’m still learning the lingo. I’m thinking of keeping the ceiling white, but open to painting it black. Ah! This is why interior design is such a skill. No pressure, but I would love your opinion if something comes to mind. Thank you, Nicole!
P.P.S. Would you consider being a guest on the podcast? It would be amazing to learn more about your experience as a POCF and interior designer and promote your awesome business. If it feels aligned for you, we can set up a Zoom date and time that works for you! Let me know. Either way, I send my love and reach out here if you ever need me/us!
Hey, Dawn! All good! I’m glad you were able to find your details to log in!
Girl, SO RELATABLE about getting into it via phone about little things. In my experience (and other POCFs have said this, too), the feeling of missing each other can transform into silly arguments that don’t matter. The subtext is, “I miss you and wish I were with you!” It could also be the frustration that your fisherman wishes he could take care of it and be back in the safety of your cozy home. Congrats on his promotion going through, as well! I hope he’s enjoying his time out there. Will be thinking of you and sending love!
I’ll circle back in August to see if a podcast interview aligns. 🙂
How’s wedding planning going, btw? Hope all good things!
Much love and POCF pride!
Megan
Hey, Tyler! So happy to hear he’s got a great crew this year! Here’s to SO MUCH FISH! I love that description. So true. And it’s not like they can prepare to lessen the load when the fish run. It’s all or nothing. Hope they have a bountiful season!
Also, have I asked if you would be interested in being a guest on the podcast yet? It would be AMAZING to hear about your experiences as a new mom and how you’ve navigated it. If so, I can send Qs over in advance, and we can figure out a good day and time that works for you! No pressure, but the door is always open. I know others would love to meet you and learn more about your fishery. Big hug from NC!
Hey, Marissa! So exciting to hear about your kitchen reno. I’m sure it’s a lot, but it will be AMAZING in the end!
Yay! So excited for your interest! I’ll for sure email you some questions, and we can figure out a good time from there.
Thanks so much, and I’m looking forward to connecting with you!
Megan
Hey, Marissa! So exciting to hear about your kitchen reno. I’m sure it’s a lot, but it will be AMAZING in the end!
Yay! So excited for your interest! I’ll for sure email you some questions, and we can figure out a good time from there.
Thanks so much, and I’m looking forward to connecting with you!
Megan
Yay for your interest! We can touch on and carry on from your interview. Talk about writing and how you’ve adjusted this summer. Just for POCFs to hear your voice would be such an incredible connection to our community. If you’d like, I can send questions in advanced so you’ll get an idea of where we’re going. We can make it short and sweet. What do you think? 🙂
Hey, Jeanene! It’s been fun getting to know more about you on this forum and through your IG account! Would you be interested in being a guest on the new POCF podcast? It would be amazing to learn from your 32 years of being a POCF! We could also promote your business and discuss more about what it’s like to have a family full of fishermen! If it speaks to you, it’d be an honor to share your story. Sending lots of love!
