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why relationships are hard

Why Relationships Are Hard Read the Post

Fishing families & POCFs are as diverse as there are people in the world. To compare ourselves to others, only takes the way the joy of our incredibly unique experiences that we’re creating for ourselves. Even if you’re celebrating holidays w/o your fisherman, creating new traditions for yourself and family are just as valuable and meaningful.
Although I like to say that we are all on the same boat, it’s truer that we are all on the same ocean, in different boats, but rising together with the tide. You are not alone, and I am grateful to share this unique experience in commercial fishing with you all! 🫶⚓️👯‍♀️
Speaking of, this week’s podcast is a LOVE bomb to all POCFs as I read from a NOAA/SeaGrant study from the 1970s on why POCFs are so damn important to the health of fishermen and the industry. The Partners of Commercial Fisherman podcast, is full of incredible stories to relate and learn from likeminded people in our community. If you haven’t checked it out yet, we’re on Apple, Spotify, Amazon, and any podcast platform you can think of! Streaming the pod is perfect for holiday cooking prep and if you’d like inspiration and empowerment to add to your day. Link in bio to tune in! 🎧👯‍♀️⚓️
What is a unique aspect of your life that you LOVE that is different from family or friends who aren’t fishing?
Remembering indigenous tribes who continually inspire us to care for fishing grounds and honor the land as we set our table and give thanks to all our blessings. Hope you’re feeling the love, too. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!
#PartnersOfCommercialFishermen #FishermansWife #FishermansGirlfriend #FishingLife #CommercialFishing #FishingCommunity #SeafoodLovers #FishingFamily #FishingSupport #OceanLife #FishingLove #FishermansPartner #FishingAdventures #FishingIndustry #POCFpride

Mantra for the Partners of Commercial Fishermen & Fishermen who need it right now. 🫶
I know this week can be tough for those separated from their loved ones. I am thinking of you and sending all the love. And remember, even if you feel alone, you are not alone. The POCF community sees you and appreciates all that you do for your fisherman, family, and yourself. Thank you for continuing to navigate this unique adventurous lifestyle alongside your fisherman. You’re doing better than you think. 🩵
#commercialfishing #fishermanlife #fishingfamily #longdistancerelationship #partnersofcommercialfishermen #pocfpride

A downloadable *FREEBIE* that is actually helpful! I most likely went overboard w the details, but can you really get too particular when it comes to money?
Chris and I have been tweaking our finances for years and it seems we always come up short when it’s time to prep for spiny lobster season. Many of us aren’t taught how to financially plan for fishing, and we can feel left behind, in the dark, or worse, broke. BUT NOT ANY MORE!
After much research from experienced POCFs and financial advisors, I created a FREE customizable template for you to download and tweak to your hearts desire. There’s even a section to manage a secondary business, home finances, fishing business, investments, how to consolidate debt, manage savings, and more!
Seasonal work means making your money stretch through the lean years and off seasons, and, a lot of times, POCFs the ones to figure it out to save future headaches. 🙋🏻‍♀️ Here’s to our financial wealth, mental health, and avoiding future disagreements abt money! IYKYK.
Link in bio to grab yours now! Curious, who deals w most of the finances in your household?
#moneytalks #moneyplanner #commercialfishing #financegoals #savingmoneytips #partnersofcommercialfishermen #pocfpride

This weeks podcast features recommendations from the POCF community on the best gifts for commercial fishermen! @lyd.s once mentioned getting personalized hoodies & T’s of the boat for her partner, and I LOVE that idea! My hubby, Chris, is always in need of socks and the man can wear through a hat like it’s his job…bc it kind of is. 😆. @lostonlandfoundatsea hoodie is already a hit as one POCF just ordered one to give to her partner she hasn’t seen since May! I’ve linked their hoodie on the blog as well as a bunch of other ideas to check off your list. Link in bio or visit POCFPride.com.
🤔What are you getting your partner and what are you wanting most for the holidays? Drop them in the comments and let’s help each other nail the perfect gift this year!
#commercialfishing #fishinggifts #partnersofcommercialfishermen #pocfpride

Whew! Day 3 takeaway was reconnecting w marine safety programs like @nioshusa @amseatraining and watching the FisherPoets on the main stage where I proceeded to sob by myself as I listened to fishermen bear their souls on stage.
That was the cherry on top to a powerful week and even more motivation to keep building our community to new levels that support not only POCFs, but their families and fishermen, too!
http://www.fisherpoets.org to learn more abt the FisherPoets Gathering in Astoria, OR, on Feb 23-25 2024, which I’m now saving up to go to this year. If I am searching to better understand the fishing community, this is considered the Holy Land. Thank you to @queenofpirates for introducing me to the group last year when I fell in love w her book at PME ‘22. Not only do I hope to meet more of our salty peeps, I plan to read 9 Things To Know When Dating A Commercial Fisherman, too. (The blog post that started our entire community!) I thinks it’s time for a “9 Things… when married to a Fisherman” to round it out.
What advice would you give to those marrying a fisherman? What advice do you wish you heard when you fell in love with your partner?
Sincerely, y’all mean more to me than you’ll know. Thank you for allowing me to be a voice and represent the POCF community. I am humbled and I will not stop giving support and love to you. You are not alone! 👯‍♀️⚓️
Thank you @pacificmarineexpo and @nationalfisherman for giving us space to speak this year. Honored and proud aren’t even the words for it. 🙏🏽👯‍♀️⚓️
#commercialfishing #fishinglife #partnersofcommercialfishermen #pacificmarineexpo #pme2023 #nationalfisherman #fisherpoets #fishingfamilies #pocfpride @pacificmarineexpo @nationalfisherman

Day 2 at the Pacific Marine Expo was filled with eye-opening perspectives. I get emotional just thinking about the outpouring of support for our community. We are truly all family, whether on the sea or on land!
My biggest take away from day 2 is learning that supporting female Fishermen also helps us as POCFs. Many POCFs feel territorial and worried about having a woman on board. Our minds can spiral, feeling our relationships are compromised by the presence of another woman. Yet unfair, it is a completely normal and human reaction. But it doesn’t have to take over.
It’s easy to feel insecure when you think of a woman, sleeping in close quarters and working long hours w your fisherman. I’ve had these emotions when Chris hired a female Deckhand. *But, it’s not female fishermen who threaten our relationships. It’s insecurity and lack of communication with our Fisherman that add to the fire. But we can move past this & we need to - for everyone’s mental health.
It’s important to have conversations with our fishermen to strengthen our relationships, & it’s also important to gain perspective of how women must feel fishing remotely with a bunch of dudes. Not only are they trying to make a living, some battle sexual-harassment & feel they can’t express emotions bc they must “man up” to keep their jobs. Some get rejected as crew bc wives don’t feel comfortable. Moral suffers, and the pain is real.
Women are strong, fierce, and hard workers, & that’s what we need right now. There’s a HUGE crew shortage & we need all hands on deck. When we support one another, we help keep the industry alive. And once we move past the stigma of women against women, we’ll release stress on OURSELVES & are able to express what we have so much of - Love and pride in our community.
It’s time to have those hard conversations w ourselves, our fishermen, and learn to move past insecurities so we can all thrive. Women supporting women means we all will rise!
What are your thoughts? How would you feel if there was a woman Fisherman a board, and why? Have you experienced this and how did you move past it?
#commercialfishing #femalefishermen #partnersofcommercialfishermen #pocfpride

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💰*FREEBIE*💰

Customizable Budget Template for Commercial Fishing Households to Thrive!

(Download through the link below!) 🤑

Give me the goods!