Frequently Asked Questions
What is a POCF?
POCF = Partner of a Commercial Fisherman
POCFs = our community, Partners of Commercial Fishermen
A POCF is anyone who is in a romantic relationship with a commercial fisherman. This includes girlfriends, fiancés, wives, or life partners. This blog focuses on POCFS, though others whose partners are in seasonal or shift work or long-distance relationships may also find this information useful.
What does it mean to be a Partner of a Commercial Fisherman?
To me, a POCF or #POCFisherman is a girlfriend, fiancé, or wife of a commercial fisherman.
Someone who lives through the emotional, physical, mental challenges and joys of being with a commercial fisherman. A romantic partner, if you will.😉
Why did you start writing about the POCF lifestyle?
When Chris and I first started dating, I had zero friends who knew what being with a commercial fisherman was like, and I was bummed to only find groups for fishermen’s wives online. I thought I’m a girlfriend, and I have to deal with the same stuff. What about me?!
On top of that, I couldn’t find information about the emotional toll and joys of being with someone in this profession. So, I started writing about my experiences, hoping to connect with others that felt the same way. I started getting emails from around the world (!!), and I’m so thankful to have found a community of POCFs out there who understand, like you!
What tips do you have for new POCFs?
Is there a private community for POCFs?
Heck yeah, and we’d love to have you! Please join a wonderful group of supportive POCFs in a private Facebook group here!
What's Chris's experience with commercial fishing?
Chris is a 2nd generation commercial fisherman, currently out of Santa Barbara, California. He fishes for spiny lobster at the Channel Islands from October until March. (He’s a 3rd generation Santa Barbaran, so his California roots run deep.)
He’s fished salmon in Bristol Bay for over a decade, starting when he was in high school.
If you want the full deets, here’s a great piece in Vie Magazine that explains his whole story!
How long have you and Chris been together?
We celebrated our 5th anniversary on October 31, 2020, and we are getting married in the Spring of 2021!💗
What's your story?
Great question, and thanks for asking! I’m a professional writer, and I am engaged to Chris Dabney, a commercial fisherman out of Santa Barbara, California. I’ve got more deets for you here!
How do you make a living?
I’m a freelance writer, which means I’m a staff columnist for three publications and on the freelance team for several others, both regional in California and national. You can see some of my work here.
What is "I Heart" and who is Elizabeth Rose?
I Heart is my relationship column in the Santa Barbara Sentinel, written under the pen name Elizabeth Rose. (Elizabeth Rose is a combination of my and my sister’s middle name.)
Here’s how the column started:
One night over dinner with a friend, after sharing another cringe-worthy dating story, she said, “You should write a dating column. A sort-of, Sex & the City meets Santa Barbara!” And that’s when it clicked. I was mid-heartbreak that had me licking my wounds, but writing about that relationship and other dating experiences felt like the ointment I needed to heal my heart and push me into the dating world again.
Fast forward 5 years, and I still write the column. It’s followed that heartbreak into meeting Chris, our long-distant relationship, moving to WA to live on a 34-foot sailboat, sailing to Mexico and cruising for two seasons, and settling back in California again. This time, in an airstream. You can dive into those stories here!
And who is this Jason guy you keep referring to in the I Heart stories?
“Jason” is the pen name for Chris.🙂
How did you and Chris meet?
It’s is a great story, and I’ve got it for you here!
Where do y'all live?
During the spiny lobster season, Chris and I live in Carpinteria, California. For the rest of the year, we plan on living on the East Coast between Wilmington, North Carolina, and Charleston, South Carolina. Stay tuned as we figure out this bi-coastal lifestyle – it’s still in the works!