Frequently Asked Questions

What is a Partner of a Commercial Fisherman?

A partner of a commercial fisherman is a romantic partner if you will. 🙂

This blog focuses on the people behind wild-caught seafood, and romantic partners are a HUGE part of what makes the commercial industry work. We are here to celebrate the generations of fish partners before us and beyond!

My mission is to gather as many partners of commercial fishermen as possible through helpful, relatable, and entertaining posts. Our community has grown so much since the Fall of 2020, and I’m so excited for what lies ahead!

(You may also find this information helpful if your partner has seasonal or long-shift work in the military, medical, trucking industries, etc. If so, hey, partners! Happy to have you here!)

To others, welcome! I hope you’ll connect with the heart & soul of the people who bring quality seafood to your table. 💙

I’d love to hear what connects with you, and I welcome your thoughts in the comments section at the bottom of each post. Thank you in advance for reading, and I can’t wait to hear from you!

What is a POCF?

You guessed it! A “POCF” is a Partner of a Commercial Fisherman.

Why did you start writing about the POCF lifestyle?

When Chris and I first started dating, I had zero friends who knew what being with a commercial fisherman was like and I didn’t live near a port area with a fisherman’s wives’ community to connect with. I also felt that even as a girlfriend, I went through similar experiences and emotions during the on and off seasons as a wife. Where was a place that *supported* those who supported our fishermen?

In addition, I couldn’t find information about the emotional ride of being with someone in this unique profession. IYKYK.

So, I started writing about personal experiences, hoping to connect with others who felt the same way. Emails trickled in, leading me to interview other POCFs who shared similar joys and challenges of this unique lifestyle. Four years later, the blog has become a foundation for those who can relate to the nuances of being in a relationship with a fisherman – no matter age, time, or place on the globe. It’s quite incredible if you think about it!

In addition, I couldn’t find information about the emotional ride of being with someone in this unique profession. So, I started writing about my personal experiences, hoping to connect with others who felt the same way. Emails trickled in the grew one blog post into a worldwide community of POCFs who can relate to this unique lifestyle, no matter our age or time and place on the globe. It’s quite incredible if you think about it! 

We now have a treasure chest of empowerment,  connectivity, and community for you through our lifestyle blog, weekly podcasts on Apple and Spotify, private community for group and 1:1 support, daily socials, incredible resources to help POCFs thrive, and more!

What tips do you have for new POCFs?

I have TONS, and thanks to other POCFs, they are so good. Here are links to tips & advice too!

And if you still don’t find what you’re looking for, please contact me here. I love to serve our community the best I can!

Is there a private community for POCFs?

Heck yeah, and we’d love to have you! Please join a wonderful group of supportive POCFs in a private Facebook group here!

What's Chris's experience with commercial fishing?

Chris is a 2nd generation commercial fisherman, currently out of Santa Barbara, California. He fishes for spiny lobster at the Channel Islands from October until March. (He’s a 3rd generation Santa Barbaran, so his California roots run deep.)

He’s fished salmon in Bristol Bay for over a decade, starting when he was in high school.

If you want the full deets, here’s a great piece in Vie Magazine that explains his whole story!

How long have you and Chris been together?

We got married in April 2021 and have been together since October 2015. 💗

What's your story?

Great question, and thanks for asking! I’m a professional writer, and I am married to Chris Dabney, a commercial fisherman out of Santa Barbara, California. I’ve got more deets for you here!


How do you make a living?

I’m a freelance writer, which can mean a lot of things. For me, I’m a staff columnist for three publications and on the freelance team for several others, mainly in California and national publications. You can see some of my work here.

What is "I Heart" and who is Elizabeth Rose?

I Heart is my relationship column in the Santa Barbara Sentinel, written under the pen name Elizabeth Rose. (Elizabeth Rose is a combination of my and my sister’s middle name.)

Here’s how the column started:

One night over dinner with a friend, after sharing another cringe-worthy dating story, she said, “You should write a dating column. A sort-of, Sex & the City meets Santa Barbara!” And that’s when it clicked. I was mid-heartbreak that had me licking my wounds, but writing about that relationship and other dating experiences felt like the ointment I needed to heal my heart and push me into the dating world again.

Fast forward 5 years, and I still write the column. It’s followed that heartbreak into meeting Chris, our long-distant relationship, moving to WA to live on a 34-foot sailboat, sailing to Mexico and cruising for two seasons, and settling back in California again. This time, in an airstream. You can dive into those stories here!

Who is this Jason guy in the I Heart stories?

“Jason” is the pen name for Chris.🙂

How did you and Chris meet?

It’s is a great story, and I’ve got it for you here!

Where do y'all live?

We used to be bi-coastal in the on and off seasons, splitting time between California and the Carolinas.

However, we recently bought a home in Wilmington, NC, and I currently reside in the South while Chris fishes spiny lobster at the Channel Islands in California (off the coast of Santa Barbara/Ventura) in the fall and winter. He also fishes sockeye salmon in Bristol Bay for several weeks in the summer.

To be continued…