Letter: “Am I wrong for feeling like this?”

Author’s Note: I’m sharing this email from a fellow POCF so others understand the normality of feeling this way. Especially if you’re new to the industry. Just remember, you are not alone!

Hey Megan, 

I have been with my Fisherman for about 1 year and 3 months. Before fishing, we worked together at a cargo area for shipments going in and out of cargo airplanes, and we had the same schedule and hours; we really enjoyed each other’s time.

But one night, we were talking a few weeks before his birthday, and I allowed him to head out since he never really got a chance to say goodbye to fishing. Plus, he also wanted to try and get a house for the family, so he took his flight for Alaska Warriors on April 05, 2023, and it has already been a week without him.

I feel relieved whenever he gets in contact, but I still feel my missing peace is gone.

It really hurts, considering it’s my first time being apart from the person who has my heart. He claims that the boat Alaska Warriors is an all-male crew as well, but just yesterday, I heard a female’s voice through the sat phone. She sounded like she was having fun laughing with the boys.

He did mention that it was the nurse or something that’s an old lady, but she sounded a bit young. And I’ve read about women in the fishing industry. I’m sure you can imagine how my mind is and how much worrying I’ve been doing since then.

Am I wrong for feeling like this?

I trust him, and I love this man with all my heart, and I just want him home.

But my emotions are all wacky. And when his first trip is done, he plans on going back to end the season but surprises me with something as well thing is…I’m still hurting with him gone.

I feel like I’m empty and just walking around with a so-called smile on my face. I’m scared to see him leave again. 

I’ve read your story and your interactions, and all I can say is I’m so lucky to come across your website. I appreciate what you do. Thank you for sharing. I’d probably be even more out of mind without your site. 

Respectfully, 

First-timer Fisherman’s Partner

Response: 

Hi, FTFP!

Thank you so much for your kind email! I’m so glad that you found comfort in the blog. That makes my heart happy and is exactly why I started it in the first place. I’ve totally been in your shoes, worrying if Chris would meet another woman on a boat, and this letter from a fellow POCF and my response show that you are not alone! https://meganwaldrep.com/fisherman-cheating/

Also, my sincere apologies for the delay! I am bummed to have just seen this. If you are looking for more immediate support, I’d love for you to join us in our private online forum! There is a community of Partners of Commercial Fishermen who know exactly what you’re going through and are there to connect when needed! This is also the best way to reach me, too. Here’s a link if this feels aligned for you: https://meganwaldrep.com/private-forum/

We also have an incredible retreat coming up in September just for POCFs. It’s going to be a chance to connect with our fish sisters in real life, and I can’t say enough how transformative it is to meet others in person and connect on such a unique lifestyle. The belongingness and instant relief you feel when you can chat with others who “get you” is incomparable. Here’s a link to learn more: https://meganwaldrep.com/retreat-2023/

Thank you so much again for your sweet words. No matter what you’re feeling, please know that you are not alone! If you need us, we’ll be in the forum with open arms. 🙂

With love & POCF pride,

Megan

EXCLUSIVE OFFERS FOR POCFS!

Private Forum: If you want to connect further with others in our community, I’d love for you to join us in the private forum! The forum is a safe space for us to chat with POCFs all over the world to share our thoughts and feelings without judgment. If it feels aligned for you, click here to join the private forum!

Beach Retreat: There’s also an opportunity to meet with POCFs in person! I’m hosting the first-ever beach retreat this September, and it will be a time to rest, recharge, and connect on a deep level with an intimate group of women. There’s something to be said about chatting in real life with people who “get us,” and this experience will be magical in that way, to say the least. Click here to join the All-Inclusive POCF Retreat happening this fall, 2023! We’d love to meet you!

If you liked this, you’d love: What If My Fisherman is Cheating?
Feature image by Victoria Roman
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