Remember the Early Days When You Just Started Dating Your Fisherman?

Remember the Early Days When You Just Started Dating Your Fisherman?

Yep, this pic is of Chris and me back in 2016.

It was February, and he visited from Bellingham, Washington, to celebrate his birthday with me in Carpinteria, California. I arranged for a kayak tour at the Channel Islands off the coast of Santa Barbara, not realizing three years later that we would live in this same town together – in an Airstream trailer – where he’d fish spiny lobsters along that same island chain.

We’re pictured in my bachelorette pad, “the Babe Cave,” I called it. 

My home was a converted two-car garage with a little private fenced yard just beyond the large picture window. Standing near the palm plant to my left, you could see the tops of the Santa Ynez Mountains. It was a dream. I was a freelance writer who (by the grace of God) figured out how to support myself by hustling the written word for various local newspapers and magazines. 

Meeting Chris at my desk in the newspaper office was the cherry on top.

That was an exciting time. Our love was new, and I had no idea what it meant to be with a commercial fisherman. Chris was months out from leaving for Bristol Bay, Alaska, and soon, I’d understand the challenges and sacrifices it would take to stay in this relationship and the deep soul-searching I’d go through to determine if it was worth it.

If you’re still reading, you probably know exactly what I mean.

I can’t say how much it means to relate to you about this unique type of relationship and lifestyle. I never thought I’d write about the subtleties of being a partner in the commercial fishing industry. Receiving feedback over the years and knowing that others feel the same is the green light to keep this going. Thank you for that!

I was inspired to write this after rereading this letter from a Partner of a Commercial Fisherman who is brand new to this lifestyle. I’m sure you can remember what it’s like, or maybe you feel this way now. Regardless, it’s a reminder that we are not alone. We are powerful women and partners who have the ability to take this traditional role of being with a commercial fisherman and make it our own. 

You can read the letter from the newbie POCF here: “It’s different being a girlfriend than a friend.” 

A recent comment on this post brought me to tears. It sums up my mission for starting this blog and community. Knowing my desire to connect and uplift us is clearly communicated is my ultimate goal:

“Thank you for sharing this heartfelt letter, Megan! It’s incredibly important to create spaces where people can find support and solidarity, especially in navigating unique challenges like those faced by partners of fishermen. This letter beautifully captures the complexities and nuances of relationships, highlighting the shift from friendship to romance and the adjustments that come with it. I’m sure many can relate to the feelings of uncertainty and longing expressed here. Your openness and empathy shine through in your blog and Instagram, providing a beacon of support for women everywhere. Thank you for fostering such a welcoming community!”

Here’s the letter they’re referring to: “It’s different being a girlfriend than a friend.” 

I’d love to know, how did you find this blog? Was it a Google search or a deep dive into social media? 

Regardless, I’m so happy you’re here. If it weren’t for you, there wouldn’t be a community, a blog, or a continuous safe space for us to land when we want to be understood.

Thank you for helping me feel understood, too. 

With Love & POCF Pride,


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