After living on a 34-foot boat for over two years with my sweetheart, we’ve learned some tricks to find alone time even if we’re just an arm’s length away.
This is healthy for one major reason: distancing from each other gives us space to come back together.
A taste of, “absence makes the heart grow fonder” if you will.
Here are a few tips to find your own space when space is very limited.
Doors. Use Them. Many cruising boats are large enough to have at least a door to the V-berth. This comes in handy when I want to write or chill in the galley and Chris wants to watch a movie. He’ll go into the V-berth, close the door, and voila! We each get restorative alone to time to recharge batteries.
Keep Favorite Snacks Separate. The last thing you want to do is fight about is who ate the last delicious brought-down-from-America treat.
For example, this year we have separate bags of organic dark chocolate with dried cherries. Last cruising season, it was peanut butter. (We both like crunchy, but he prefers salt.)
It’s one of those, pick-you-battles type of thing.
Zone Out, Side-by-Side. Just like in your bed at home, zoning out on phones, books, magazines and computers happens on a boat, too.
This is especially nice while sitting in the cockpit – one person sits portside, the other, starboard. #Separate yet #together
Take Excursions. Alone. When you’re on anchor or at a marina, discover the town while walking hand-in-hand with the one you love. Then take note of coffee shops to revisit by yourself.
WiFi changes everything. So does a change of scenery, even if you’re simply scrolling on Instagram.
When we’re in a remote anchorage, for example, Chris will row the dinghy around and I’ll stay on board to write. Bonus that you get the whole boat to yourself to spread out.
Same goes for Chris. When I go in town to write, he can play/work on the boat all day without me commenting with unsolicited advice or micro-managing (my bad!).
Earphones Work Magic. Sometimes we’ll literally give each other a kiss, put in our earphones, and zone out for two hours.
It’s amazing what bubble world you can create when sounds go directly into your ear.
V-Berth: The Ultimate #SeparateTogetherness. The V-berth is a funny concept for couples.
(As a reminder to those who do not sail, it is shaped in a “V” because it is placed at the bow of the boat where it narrows to a point.)
When you both lay in the V-berth, your shoulders are about a King-sized bed away from each other yet your feet share a space about the size of 1/2 a Twin mattress.
To me, this symbolizes the ultimate balance of separate togetherness. You’re so close yet still far away, you almost miss each other in the morning. Cuddles, anyone?
What’s your favorite #SeparateTogetherness trick?