Life Goals Tested – Time To Figure Out What You Want

relationship columnist writer megan waldrep

It took a trip back home to notice how much my life has changed in the last two months.

I left my job, my bachelorette pad, I gave away the majority of my clothing, cut my hair (by 12 inches), said goodbye to friends, and left the comforts of traditional indoor plumbing among others.

And I was okay with it.

Moving to California and figuring out a way to pay the bills as a writer was at the top of my list of personal goals, and I thank the powers above that I was actually able to actually do it.

So when the opportunity arose to sail to Mexico with the love of my life, I felt fulfilled enough in those goals to take the risk.

I traded the little world I manifested for myself for an adventure of a lifetime.

But the adventure has been put on hold. The life I prepared for morphed into a life I never thought it would have.

As the French say, c’est la vie.

Plans changes, things happen.

Building A New Life

I was confident I could bounce back and figure out a way to get by.

This “la la la” mentality acted as a safety harness to make the big jump.

People do it all the time, I thought. I’ve built a life for myself and I can do it again.

So I took a deep breath and made an effort to acclimate to my surroundings.

I got a new license with my new address, settled into my new home (of about 28-by-9-feet living space), applied for jobs (so far, to a publishing company, a weed store, as a personal assistant, and Uber.)

Got used to nuances of sailboat life (no refrigeration, no indoor shower, no closet, no extra space), and sought comfort in a new way to exist.

The Road Less Traveled Is A Bumpy One

But it has not been easy.

I struggle every day to keep positive, and I’ve discovered the culprit.

For the first time, I realize that I have no goal, no huge accomplishments to conquer.

I feel no real purpose for being in this new environment.

This grey area made me realize I hadn’t visualized life after the sailing around the world.

That I’ve never thought about what a future could look like with a partner.

I took a moment to check in.

I dug around beneath the mental noise and uncomfortable emotional situations, and I found bigger questions that needed answers:

What do I really want out of all of this?

And most of all, what am I not willing to give up?

In a weird way, I find comfort in this uncertain state.

That it’s okay to be bored, confused, and a little scared.

And that one day I’ll look back with compassion over these growing pains and admire the steps I took to make it through.

Maybe for some of us, it takes trading in the familiar to understand what’s most important.

5 thoughts on “Life Goals Tested – Time To Figure Out What You Want

  1. Wow Megan, you really hit this one. There has only been one time I can think of that I wasn’t completely goal oriented. I had just graduated college and the job I worked towards didn’t work out. Sure I had a part time job and was looking for my first big girl job but after that one fell through I couldn’t see the new future

    1. Yass, you understand! Thank you for saying so! The funny part was, I had a talk with myself when I moved from Santa Barbara, CA to Washington that no matter what happened on the sailboat journey, I’d adapt and be ok. Little did I know the adventure would begin before we ever left the dock. I ended up being ok, I just had to go through an existential crisis to get there. 🙂 Love to hear your experience, too! And honestly, I don’t think I’ve shaken that feeling post-college. The big goal is there, but the everyday grind is a new adventure. Thank you for sharing!!!! <3

    1. Thank you, Erin! I admire the life you lead, too! To go against the grain is both easy and hard. Sometimes people don’t really understand it and sometimes neither do you! 🙂 But supportive friends and family make those challenges seem more obtainable! xoxo

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