Letter: I Don’t Feel Strong All the Time
Hi, Megan! Wow, each one of your posts hits me so deeply. I can’t tell you how much comfort and hope I find in your posts and how much I can feel your love for Chris.
I continue to ask myself, Am I as strong as her? Can I do this?
I also felt when you said I’m in my prime (in a similar post here) – I totally feel the same way. My fisherman isn’t very communicative with his feelings, so I’m often sitting home alone asking myself why. I just want you to know I appreciate your vulnerability and sharing your stories. It really has given me a type of support system and validated certain feelings I feel on a day-to-day basis.
Thank you! Sincerely, New to the Crew
I am choked up right now. Thank YOU for sharing and your vulnerability! Believe me, you are stronger than you think, and you are not alone. The communication thing is an ongoing practice with romantic partners that we’ll pretty much have to work on…for the rest of our lives.🤪
Your kind words completely humble me. I want to be transparent – I don’t feel strong all the time. It may seem so through this blog because I’ve had time to process my emotions through several drafts before publishing a post. But writing is a medicine that way. You’ll find that your emotions will transform from your heart to the brain, then rearrange themselves when they hit the page. Sometimes, it feels as if I’m rereading a piece in the “third person,” if that makes sense. It is always helpful, though surprising. Do you journal? I encourage you to try if you don’t already. If anything, it’s empowering to read on past entries to see how far you’ve grown.
Also, it’s ok to not feel strong all the time. We hear that being partners of commercial fishermen takes a lot of strength, and it does. But it also puts a lot of pressure to not feel natural human emotions like sadness, worry, and confusion. Even after six years, I forget that others feel this way too, and I sometimes feel like I’m alone. But we always need downtime to rest, reset, and refill our cups to keep pushing through. (Just ask members of our private Facebook Group – They’re living it or have been there, too!)
I wish you the most memorable reunion with your fisherman. Is there any chance you’ll be able to visit him at the end of the season? How sweet would that be if you could spend an extra week or even a few days together relaxing on the beach? If not, it would be fun to plan a “staycation” when he gets home, no cell phones, just y’all. Chris and I plan to do that soon. Even if we just stay in the house. 🙂
Thanks for sharing your feelings and being a part of this ongoing conversation of the POCF life! It’s not easy, but the rewards are unmatched if we play it right. 💙
What is your takeaway from this letter? Have you been here before? How did you navigate it? Please share in the comments below!
If you liked this, you’d love Letter: Quality Time w/ Only a Few Days Together
Photo by Saksham Gangwar