My relationship advice for dating a fisherman is based on emails sent to me from fellow Partners of Commercial Fishermen around the world. Below is a follow-up letter from the previous blog, “Letter: Aussie Needs Advice on Dating an American Fisherman.” If you’d like to reach out, I’d love to hear from you! Please email me here!
I hope this email finds you well and enjoying time with your Chris. I read your blog about being “too independent,” and I loved your honesty and modesty. You’ve really taken your experiences and done a wonderful job at making them your creative outlet and supporting/inspiring others at the same time.
Unfortunately or perhaps, fortunately 🤔, my former Chris and I are no longer. I waited for him to return from sea and was present with him after news of his brothers’ passing. Very sad, he was a young 54. A few days later, Chris broke up with me due to my late sleep routine at the time, which came partly from stress-related issues and health. It actually got better when he was away at sea. It’s amazing how much I put up with his patterns and his coming and going at his pleasure, and he breaks up with me over something so lame.
I actually felt it was an excuse that he had a woman there and has been with women despite our monogamous and exclusive relationship agreement. He stooped so low as to call me “garbage” because I sometimes can’t sleep at night…even though he endures the same challenges and has more poor habits than I, which I’ve always understood and supported him.
Anyways, we’ve blocked one another, and that’s that. I left FB, where we met, and I just can’t bear to go on anymore with what he’s put me through. I didn’t want to reveal all the details in my first email to you; him breaking up with me every month or so, ghosting me for days to a couple of weeks at a time, and treating me abusively (in which I tried to help him with as I have a Psychotherapy background). I don’t share that much with people, Re: this, but I love that you share it or bare it all if you like, and I think it’s important for women to be real and expressive about the challenges we face, especially with each other.
Anyways, I wanted to wish you well with your home project. I renovated a 1930’s Cal Bungalow from the shell, and it’s a fantastically painful experience if I’m honest. It makes it all the better when doing it alongside a partner, although that can sometimes backfire, so go easy on each other. I did a bit of both as my marriage fell apart mid-renovations. Not because of that, of course. 😂
I am unsubscribing to your emails due to the situation. 😢 Every time I get an email, I feel sad, and it brings back painful memories of worrying about and waiting for Chris to return from sea.
Warm Wishes Megan, Fisherman Partner Down Under 💛
I’m so sorry to hear that it didn’t work out. Though I have to say, it looks like you are better off because of it. My relationship advice for dating this fisherman is good riddance! Name-calling is gross, and you are A QUEEN! I say this firmly, as I was once in an emotionally abusive relationship, which makes me particularly biased when I say, F* THAT GUY! (But in all seriousness, f* him!) Lesson learned: We’ve all got issues to work on, but ain’t nobody got time for that.
You will be missed in our community, even in the short time that you were here. (And please know you are welcome back anytime!)
Also, I LOL’d at your insight about renovating a home together – that is real talk! Thankfully, Chris and I had some practice getting on each other’s nerves when we lived on a 34’ boat together. Hopefully, we’ll keep the peace. 🙏🏽🤞🏽
Lots of love to you, and thanks for taking the time to email me an update. Sharing your story will help others out there, too!
As for the future, I can’t emphasize this enough: Enjoy your single woman time because 👏 it 👏 is 👏 a 👏 GIFT! Not many women take advantage of focusing on themselves while single and instead make it all about finding a partner. The magic comes when you focus on yourself, on your path, and the good people will fall in line. As my mom says, “The best gift you can give yourself is learning to be by yourself.” I’ve learned that to be true, especially in relationships. Hope this helps in some way.
Thank you again for your email. I wish you nothing but the best!
Do you have experience with a relationship like this? You are not alone! Please share in the comments below!
If you liked this relationship advice for dating a fisherman, you’d love Letter: My Fisherman Cheated. Now What?
Photo by Jonathan Borba