Letter: What If My Fisherman is Cheating?
I know you are a busy lady, but this is my first season, and my fisherman is yet to leave for Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, then to Costa Rica for four months.
Was there ever a time in your relationship you thought he would be unfaithful?
Sorry, I’m not crazy. I just relate so much to your posts and feel like I can ask you these things. I love my fisherman very much, but is love enough? Sorry again to bug you. I appreciate our private FB group, and I’m sorry if I’m bothering you.
First Season Scaries
You’re not bugging me at all. I’m honored you messaged me!
I understand how the mind can go all over the place. I definitely worried about that when we first started dating. Even more so when Chris got a female deckhand the first year he fished in CA – that was a mindf*ck for sure! (See Insta post below.)
But I got over it. I had to. I have to trust Chris just as he trusts me on land. As terrible as the thought, I realized there was nothing I could do to stop something like that from happening. I had to “let that shit go” because it made me feel like my smaller self while also dampening our relationship. I actually sat and thought to myself, What if Chris DOES meet someone else? How would I feel? Of course, I would be devastated and heartbroken for a long time. But, eventually, I’d be ok. It wouldn’t kill me. And as much as I hope it won’t happen, I’d survive.
So, I get it. But this is where the ultimate relationship test comes in – Trust. Is there a reason you think he is being unfaithful? Has it happened before? If not, then talk to your man about your feelings but don’t accuse him in any way if he’s not given you a reason to question. If you believe he’s genuinely there for you, then practice that TRUST factor. You’re going to need it in the long run. Eventually, these insecure feelings will dissolve away, and you’ll be in the strongest relationship you’ve ever hoped for. Once you’ve had a loving conversation about it, let it go. That’s all you can do. I know it’s a cliché, but TRUST and communication are the ultimate foundations of any relationship, especially with a commercial fisherman.
I wish you peace in your heart. I know that long-distance makes everything harder, but you can get through this just as many POCFs have gone through it before.
You are not alone.
Talk to your man. Send your love. Then focus on you. Do the things that make you happy in that “secret single life” behavior we can only enjoy when our loved ones aren’t around. Taking the time to build yourself up is the best gift you can give yourself – a gift that will stick with you for a lifetime.
I hope this helps in some way. I’m sending you a big hug and wish you the best, most supportive chat with your fisherman when you can.
Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org anytime. Sincerely!
Have you had feelings of insecurity like this? How did you get out of it? Please share in the comments below!
Feature photo by NeONBRAND