1 Perfect New Year Resolution for Fishermen Partners (Plus 7 More if You Need Inspo!)
I’m not very consistent in making New Year’s resolutions. BUT there is something to be said about setting intentions and shifting priorities around, which sounds much more realistic even though they could be viewed as the same thing. (Tomato, Tomah-to, you know what I mean?)
I recently heard about choosing one word to define your year, which really stuck with me. Choosing one word makes it easy to remember and can act as a mantra to ground you when you need it most. What’s the first word that came to mind when you read this? Please share in the comments below!
My word? RELEASE
When I’m triggered by social media or comments from extended family, I say to myself, “release,” and the tight grip around my heart loosens and I’m back to the present again. Otherwise, I get trapped in a place that burns my insides, thinking of how I should respond, and the only one who ends up suffering is me. I have to say, it’s helped A LOT this holiday season, and I hope this trick helps you, too!
If this sounds hokey to you, no worries. It’s not for everyone! If you’re more of a traditional gal, the list below has a few helpful recommendations that can make your life as a partner of a commercial fisherman more enjoyable and less stressful this year. (If you have any you’d like to add, please share in the comments section.) I hope this next year is your best yet. Happy New Year to you and yours! ✨
7 Helpful New Year’s Resolutions for Partners of Commercial Fishermen if You Need Inspo:
- Make time for yourself. I know it may sound selfish, but it’s not! To best serve your partner and your family, you’ve got to put yourself first. Mark a “girls night” or a “self-love night” on the calendar in the next coming months and stick to it. (If you have kids, call a babysitter to watch the kids at home or take them out for the day.) There’s nothing like hanging with good friends, soaking in a hot tub, starting that book or movies you’ve been meaning to dive into, or simply going on a nice long walk to help you feel centered again.
- Commit to a date night with your partner when he’s back from fishing. (Look at that, you’re calendar’s already filling up!) It’s easy to fall into the grind of the fishing season, so it’s important to gently remind ourselves that prioritizing our relationship is just as (or more!) important as working on the engine or running the household. Although it may take time to readjust to being together again – especially if they’ve been gone for a while – remember that this is normal, and it will pass. Knowing that you both have committed to a time to be together will keep you on track.
- Work on communicating your feelings to your partner. I know, I know. You’ve heard it before, but learning the best ways to communicate can be tricky. I find that making a list of your wants and needs is helpful. Then find a good time to sit down and talk. (For example, don’t blurt out your concerns when he’s out on the boat or just back from a long trip.) Pick a time and a place. Also, make sure that you’re open to hearing his wants and needs, too. Putting your ego aside and listening after you’ve respectfully shared your side will keep your relationship strong if you both commit to it.
- Join the Partners of Commercial Fisherman Private Facebook Group if you haven’t already. I’m telling you, this is your tribe. You’ll meet many other partners (girlfriends, fiancés, and wives) who have all been through or are going through the same feeling as you. Even with all kinds of backgrounds and responsibilities, we all speak the same language. Join the conversation to express any joys and concerns you have, and you’re sure to hear, “I’ve been there, too!”
- Find a hobby that you love. This is another way to come back to *you* outside of family and your day-to-day job. I find it’s super helpful to have an ongoing project (like writing this blog) so that even when Chris is back from fishing and has a ton of projects to work on, I don’t feel left out because I also have “my thing,” too. Other POCFs have mentioned furniture rehab or sport fishing. Think of what you’ve always wanted to try and start scrolling the internet for inspo. (Researching is half the fun!)
- Now for a technical, yet important suggestion: create a budget that works with fluctuating income. As we know, commercial fishing can be hit or miss when it comes to a good payday. But if you save and budget accordingly, you’ll have no problems getting through the lean times and not blowing a load when the fishing’s good. Here’s a post on how one POCF manages their income.
- Here’s a biggie that I’m working on, too: Stay positive when you haven’t heard from them in days, and your mind starts to go down the rabbit hole. A member in our private FB group once said that “no news is good news,” and I’d have to agree. The saying, “worrying is like praying for something you don’t want,” comes into play here, too. Commercial fishing is SUPER DEMANDING, and the majority of the time is spent fishing, sleeping, or eating to make it through a hard season. Your fisherman will call. They always do.
Do you make new year’s resolutions? If so, what’s on your list, or what would you add here? Please share in the comments below!
If you liked this, you’d love 21 Helpful Resources When Your Partner is a Commercial Fisherman.
Photo by Georgia de Lotz