Although the uncertainty of commercial fishing reminds us to roll with the tide – and as POCFs, we’re here to do it – a fishing schedule change can aggravate a flow you’ve carefully established while your partner’s away. A fishing schedule can change for various reasons. Here are a few that come to mind:
- Boat malfunctions*
- International market or shipping issues*
- Season winds down*
- Season cancellation*
- Needs time off*
*Out of human control.
Even after mentally preparing for change, motions can swirl from highs to lows, triggering in-between upon impact before guilt sets in for having feelings in the first place. I want POCFs to know that anything you feel is OK. You can be grateful and frustrated and all the things and still support your fisherman. The trick is how you handle it.
I have good news that I hope helps you, too: WE ARE NOT OUR FEELINGS, and we have the power to rise above and find joy in our unique lifestyle full of rich excitement and adventure. It may take a little practice, but I’ve seen it gets more manageable when I try things like this:
How To Deal With Fishing Schedule Changes & Not Disrupt Your Flow
You’re on the Same Team. You’re In This Together.
Simple words as a quick reminder that each partner’s contribution to the relationship and household is equally essential. Chris and I repeat this as needed because it helps put high emotions in perspective. If the relationship feels lopsided, have a conversation to understand each other’s point of view and establish mutual respect for your roles in the partnership. You’re on the same team and in this together! <3
Communicate Boundaries with Love.
Express healthy boundaries for your flow, like if you need quiet time in the morning or full-reign of certain areas of the home. Be honest about why you need space, and explain your process, so your partner understands. Maybe you need complete focus for a new project or finally nailed a nap schedule for the baby. Your time is sacred, and it’s OK to speak up. If you’re unsure of your boundaries, notice instances when you feel heated, then ask why it triggers you. It’s almost like reverse engineering to discover your needs and how to fill them.
Often, friction comes from not clearly stating your boundaries. Be advised that you may have to repeat your boundaries one to one hundred times, but your loved ones will eventually get it and flow right along with you.
Stick to Your Boundaries.
Distraction is one of the biggest challenges for POCFs who work from home, and I’m still discovering ways to stay focused. Repeating boundaries with love and holding ourselves accountable to use that sacred time for good use is the only way to do it.
I find it helpful to decide on a time to connect later in the day, then set your phone to “work mode,” but allow your partner or childcare/school to ring through in case of an emergency. (Google how to set this up for your phone. Also, setting a timer once you’re in the flow allows you to deep-dive into your passion or project without losing track of time. Repeat a timer for each task as needed.
Share the Load.
What’s on your plate? As you know, fishermen are incredible are getting after projects, which can include household chores, car (maintenance, gas, wash), maintaining the yard, grocery or Costco run, random errands, or handling the kids while you run out or stay home to enjoy the quiet. (Household chores are a breeze with two people. Score!)
It can be hard to relinquish control (me. You, too?), but it’s OK to ask for help. As others have advised POCFs to lend a hand with boat yard work to gain perspective on commercial fishing, fishermen who help with daily responsibilities also gain perspective of the POCF life. Teamwork makes the dream work, and what true partnership is all about! You’re on the same team and in this together! <3
Remember, everything is temporary. This, too, shall pass.
What have you found helpful, or what would you add to the list? Please share in the comments below!
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If you liked this, you’d love 6 Tips for Reconnecting with Your FIsherman Bc Sometimes It’s Weird.