6 Tips for Reconnecting with Your Fisherman bc Sometimes it’s Weird

6 Tips for Reconnecting with Your Fisherman bc Sometimes It’s Weird

We may be embarrassed to admit it, but sometimes a reunion after a long fishing season can be less than a Hallmark movie. Actually, it can be weird as f*ck. The silver lining of running the household by yourself comes to a screeching halt as soon as their boots cross the threshold. But it’s totally normal if you think about it. Your fisherman is readjusting to land life – with daily responsibilities and waking up at normal hours – while you learn to share the bed again (among a million other things). We’ve all been there and will be again. (Can I get an Amen in the comments if you hear me?!) So let’s get past that awkward stage ASAP! Below are some tips I’ve found helpful when Chris gets back from a long season, and I hope they help you, too!

6 Tips for Reconnecting with Your Fisherman bc Sometimes It’s Weird

  1. Give yourself two days to fully adjust to living together again. If you can, take off work, do it. One POCF does two to three days of “Homecoming,” as she calls it, so she doesn’t feel “pushed out of my routine or stressed. We can relax, have slow mornings, and reconnect at a reasonable pace.”
  2. If you don’t have the time, plan a date night or make him slow dance with you in the kitchen. (Example: I made Chris slow dance with me in the kitchen to that same song as I cried on his shoulder. “I’m just so happy you’re home!”)
  3. Prepare not to get your feelings hurt if they want time alone. I had to coach myself through this, and this book and this quiz helped a lot! 
  4. Once you’re a little settled, choose a show to binge-watch together. That way, you can both chill and do your own thing and reconnect on a story you’re both invested in. Cuddling ensues.
  5. Plan an at-home date night. It can be during your two-day readjustment period or after. Order takeout, then lay out a blanket in the living room to enjoy a romantic picnic. Agree to put your phones away for at least an hour.
  6. Pre-make meals if possible. I didn’t do this, but having a casserole or cut-up veggies ready to use at the quick would have been nice—it’s hard to motivate yourself to make food when you’re four episodes in!
  7. Bonus: Create your own book club. You can do this before or after a fishing season. Chris and I tried when he fished Bristol Bay last summer, and it was a creative way to feel connected while he was gone and a great way to reconnect when he returned!

Which sounds most helpful to you? Or, is there another trick you use when reconnecting with your fisherman? I would love to know in the comments below!


Private Forum: If you want to connect further with others in our community, I’d love for you to join us in the private forum! The forum is a safe space for us to chat with POCFs all over the world to share our thoughts and feelings without judgment. If it feels aligned for you, click here to join the private forum!

If you liked this, you’d love the series Diary of a Partner of a Commercial Fisherman.

Photo by Bernie Almanzar

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  1. What a great list, which I’m sure could be super useful for those in long-distance relationships (I love my space)! Coming back together and sharing space again can of course be jarring and you don’t want your day to day anxieties and flow to be mistaken for a relationship problems…they are just roommate problems 😂.

    • So true about how the transition can be easily confusing for deeper stuff that isn’t there. And “roommate problems!” What a great way to put it!! 🏆